Escaping Illusions

The Great Deception

May 12th 2024

PART 1

This is a story full of love, mystery, prediction, intuition, subterfuge, manipulations, and much more. I will be developing this story little by little. Sharing the unfolding of these events will be enlightening to some & familiar to others. There are many events that occured from the month of May 2023 to the end of January 2024. This may be a slow moving story as my desire is to fully expose the dangerous vortex of social media on the unsuspecting soul. In no way is this meant to stoke fires, anger, or any sort of negativity. This story is being shared to open eyes, expose dangers, and support those who have had like experiences. Thank you for sharing this very personal journey with me. I am grateful for you, your love, and support! 💕 💖 

PART 2

I began this incredible journey through this platform in order to spend time with my daughter who lives in a different state. I spent lots of my time in her space getting to know her friends and spending time with her and her friends, it was early summer, around the end of May. I bounced around the platform I discovered wonderful scientific and metaphysical information. As I was completely enthralled with the teachings of Florence Schovel Shinn and had been consistently applying her teachings in my life every day, it was exciting to find expanded information to assist me in my personal healing journey. My daughter was encouraging me to start my own platform and I was struggling within regarding what I was going to present and how I would present it. I had scrolled into a lively platform where there were a lot of people discussing beliefs. I really enjoyed this particular platform. I went to that creators platform consistently and was sad when I saw that it wasn't there anymore when I went online. Apparently,  this person's live had been shut down due to offenses, not quite understood 🤔 controlling the actions and behaviors of someone that is a guest in your platform is impossible. We can only set boundaries and expectations but at the end of the day every individual chooses to act in whatever way they desire. Some recognize the power in their words and actions and choose to self-govern others chose to be reactive to what offends them. Some choose observance and others choose engagement. While we desire to have these communications with others in these social settings, do we recognize our effect in what we are putting forward in words? We each hold a frequency and vibration in our words when we speak, what we speak creates ripples. Can we see the reality of the ripples that we create? When we have a desire, a true desire to create a change for good, how does that really impact others? I observe in occasion that even though some are only trying to put forward truth in what they find in research, there are others who will refuse to hear what another's research has brought forward to light and will even resort to name calling, cursing, and yelling to stand their ground. When these negativities present themselves I notice how my own negativity increases. I wonder how many others experience that same effect? Whether it be the swearing, the yelling, or the name calling, one or all of these things, how many walk away from these particular situations and carry it into another situation? How many have the ability to not judge the offending person? Maybe they don't experience a defined emotion, however, there are thoughts. Are thoughts dangerous if they are not accompanied by emotion? I believe so. if we are not properly connecting why we are actually having a specific negative thought regarding negative behaviors of others? Is it due to the total impact? Is it due to our own triggers from unresolved conflicts? If we are witnessing another person being completely degraded by someone and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the victim in the scenario does not deserve it, at what point are we contributing to the degradation by saying nothing? Does it make a difference if it is an adult or a child? If it is an adult, what if that adult is special needs or disabled? While we can recognize that we do not have the power to change the belief, behavior, or actions of another person. I believe that we can plant seeds. Seeds grow with care, tenderness, and love. I believe it is important to stand in truth and integrity. When we see something that is not right, we have a personal responsibility to act. Just my opinion. Considering how some of these behaviors impact the social platforms of the host/creator, how they can be shut down, shadow banned, and have to start from the beginning is another impact that goes unrecognized. When we open up our spaces and others trample on efforts to build, what is their ultimate goal? 🤔 Are we being tested? Bullied? Blocked? To suit another's purpose who disagrees with our presentation? Food for thought....

PART 3

Upon the banning of that live that platform, I journeyed out to other platforms and discovered a spiritual platform full of people that had experienced similar experiences as myself. I felt welcomed in this space and proceeded to share my stories and personal beliefs with them. Believing that when like minded people came together with positive energies, shifts can be made on a more expansive level for the betterment of societal effect. Knowing and experiencing these shift changes within myself, I felt like anything was possible. I had made great headway in my healing journey and my desire to share how changing my attitude made all the difference in my situation. I had felt I had discovered the perfect platform for this. Recognizing when I began I was welcomed with open arms, I felt like I had found a sort of "soul family". Feeling embraced was a great feeling as I was basically re-emerging into society and facing fears and overcoming mountains in my life regarding past and current situations. I felt that I had found my place. I had tried to start my own platform and had struggled a bit with the technology and also with determining what my platform structure would be about. Following a couple of failed attempts, I decided that I should explore a little more and see what others were doing with their personal spaces to gain that perspective. Within this exploration I found a couple more platforms with welcoming people that I felt were intelligent as I recognized they seemed to be of the same like mindedness of myself. I considered myself to be seeking with purpose, gaining friends, promoting positivity and high vibration believing that higher vibration attracted higher vibration.  I still believe this. In this time I lacked discernment. I have always just taken people for who they present themselves to be, especially when they seemed so happy to connect. This is when I ran into another platform that was focused on metaphysics and physics. I was extremely excited to find this space! The creator of this platform is of high intelligence and as I shared my similar beliefs, I was grateful to be reminded of the name of a doctor that I had run across just a couple of months prior that I had viewed briefly on a video. This Dr. Is Joe Dispenza. I had forgotten the name and when this creator mentioned it, it sparked that memory so I was beyond thrilled as I was able to reconnect my memory and continue my research into healing. I had already begun yoga, Hatha specifically,  and had been regularly attending physical therapy and going to the gym 3x a week for aquatics as well. After just two months practicing Hatha Yoga, I found myself in a pain-free state for the first time in years. It was freeing just to be able to learn how powerful breathwork is for the body. I remember telling the physical therapist how incredible it felt to excercise without the consequences of pain and how I recognized that I had been holding my breath increasing muscular tension and that the breath work that I was doing seemed to cause the pain to fall off. Interestingly enough, the physical therapist responded about how the muscles need oxygen or they tense up. I had been in and out of this physical therapy for several years and it was the first time anything had been mentioned and it was only mentioned following my own experience. I thought to myself, how nice it would have been to have had this knowledge at the beginning of this healing journey and how far I might have come without the meds vs practicing breath work, wishing I had known this from the beginning. I am so grateful to have found these tools as they opened the door for me to expand the possibilities of my future. I was seeing my potential for physical restoration as fully achievable. I also was regularly attending mental health therapy as the injuries that I had been dealing with and the familial peculiarities that were plaguing me also needed attention. I felt like I had all the bases covered, I was driven, goal oriented. I also had a full platter overflowing with focus on getting well so I could get on with life. I have a tendency to push myself to the brink of utter destruction. I recognized that I was pushing myself too hard and was convincing myself that if I did less of one of these things that I would be failing myself within my own healing process. I now can see that while all these things are a beautiful bouquet of abundantly healthy actions, I was over doing it. Self care is important and recognizing what we need to do for our own revitalization is critical. As I reflect on this time I see where my own ambition to self heal negated a critical area of healing and that is recognizing that rest is important. Knowing now that it is important to rest when your body is speaking it to you is acknowledging your needs and respecting self. As I just did not acknowledge this aspect at the time, I continued my social butterfly journey on the social platform, soaking in and expressing positive inspiration wherever I went.

In the beginning of September,  I had to have a procedure done that was required by my insurance company. I went into this procedure being a bit tired from pushing my goals too hard and not giving myself and my body time or room to rest. This procedure required me to be put under by anesthesia.  I had a reaction to the anesthesia and had to remain under observation for 3x the typical amount of time that is required for recovery. My throat was raw and I had lost my voice. I was weakened. The wind had been completely knocked out of me. I had attended this spiritual live that I really enjoyed, I was committed to attending these lives at every opportunity as I really enjoyed gaining perspective of others experiences and within that space of having been weakened I was approached within that live by a girl who said that during this time of my recovery I was in a dangerous position and I would need protection and she may be able assist with my healing as well. I responded to her by saying how nice it was if her. It took at least a month and a half to recover from this incident. In this time I returned to the social media platform under advisement from my Physician not to return to aquatics until further notice. In my attempt to divert my attention from the waiting I had decided to begin my own platform, I felt that I had a great amount of support in the people that I had met and began by sharing some of the things that I had been doing for my own self improvement. 😌  I had also been focused on how to achieve peace through love and high vibration.  I love digging into cultures and seeking out the truth in whatever I find and was trying every method I could get my hands on to see what would work and what didn't. I typically approach everything optimistically. I had read up on Quantum Healing and the incredible things that could take place with focused thought and imaging and was completely interested in how these things work and come together.  Not thinking all that much about the girl that offered me protection I continued my search finding different arenas of opportunity.  I had been in a friend's live and had been viewing some mirrored images and seeing the totems within these images that another girl was also able to see. I was so excited to see some of these as I had been able to see within certain things for a few years and was over the moon that I had found more people that could see them as well. As her and I are viewing them this other guy jumped in and asked me what else I saw. I took a closer look with my magnifier and named a few things and he confirmed the he also saw them. As I had been working on reconnecting my neuro pathways to improve my word memory, I really enjoyed playing some madlibs. I asked if anyone was interested in playing and the girl seemed so excited saying how she loved madlibs. Then as we chose words and completed the story she would speak a channeled message as follow up. I had so much fun that day. This guy said he would be attending my "peace" live and this girl seemed like and exciting new friend.

PART 4

Immediately following this exchange and all of the fun of the games, I felt a whirlwind of excitement,  the man that participated had expressed a desire to converse with me one on one and I felt a particular anticipation.  He had expressed a keen interest on attending my peace live and the woman that was there had asked if he would come to her live. He responded with a "No" in what seemed a curt response. In that moment there was a pregnant pause. I remember feeling uncomfortable, as that pause was noticeable, he seemed to recognize how his response came across and said that it wasn't personal. I could feel her express disappointment though. Following this another friend that I had been in several lives with invited me to go to this other live. She wanted to surprise me with a gift. I didn't know what to say, it was something I wasn't at all expecting this surprise but she had purchased a custom ahnk for me and also a Quantum session to be schedule for a time following the receipt of the Ahnk. I expressed that I would send her some money and she had told me, no, pay it forward. As I accepted this sweet gift I had thought to myself how beautiful this person was and how truly grateful I was to have found these beautiful people in this space after having been so seperate from social situations for several years. I was completely comfortable in my self expression in that time and knew how to communicate what I needed to in a way that touched hearts 💕 I recognized that this voice is Spirit working through me and had no fear in standing in that way. There were happenings occurring all around me consistently and I knew I had the greatest Armour of all. I recognized in that time that there would be tests, many tests. I always consider the stories of Job when I would face these tests and the demonstration of faithfulness throughout the difficulty. 

I continued on that day in a whirlwind of excitement.  I had thought that things were all coming together. Anticipating my approaching live for that evening, I was so positive regarding what had been given to my by spirit. I had thought about the times in the recent past and how I had prayed for this peace coming into the world 🌎. In my heart and mind I was focused on the story of Jericho. Not one finger lifted a weapon. All was done in faith, love and song. Believing with my whole heart and soul that when people come together with an intent purpose in the right frequency and vibration that great things could be accomplished for all. I had learned through Florence Schovel Shinn that all things were possible in co-creation with the Divine Source of the Universe. I had found a prayer in a medicine ceremonies book that was a beautiful representation of what I had been praying for. That first live for promoting peace was wonderful,  so many people showed up! I saw this a God's gift for all. It to me was proof that there were many people that had the same desire for this peace. My new friends were there and I was overjoyed that people were uniting for this purpose. The end of this live brings forward this man that I had met earlier, he was in one of the boxes and asked if he could speak with me privately he expressly communicated "I don't care how old you are, i don't care what you look like, I love you, I've always loved you".  I said of course, I wondered to myself, who is this man? I told him to go ahead and direct message me so we could set a time to talk. We ended up exchanging information to speak on a different app. I had lost some of my technological skills in the past several years due to injuries I  had sustained and medications that complicated things for me. When we chatted he invited me to join him for a collective world peace prayer. He asked me if I would do a video with him and said it would be an honor to stand by me. I assumed at this point that this would be a mentoring situation developing into some type of video making partnership. I could feel some sort of weird, underlying current though. I responded, "sure, that would be great, so we are friends then, right?" I still had that, I love you, I've always loved you comment bouncing around in my head and was trying to figure that out, like what was the purpose of that comment. It wasn't just the comment though, it was the intent which was accompanied within those words. They had hit my heart in the same way that the Divine Love of the Almighty had hit me when I had my very first vision six to seven years prior, yet, that undercurrent had me on a sort of pins and needles, what was this? 

PART 5

At the beginning of the same live, the really cool girl that I was looking at the totems with when I met that guy, had been blocked from going live for saying something in my platform. I didn't hear it so I am not really sure what exactly happened.  It was at a time when people would automatically be ejected by that particular social media app for certain speech behavior. Following this action I was able to communicate with her through direct messaging and she shared mirrored images with me. I really love using my eye for detail to see pictures within things, it is definitely one of my greatest joys 😊  then suddenly I was no longer able to find her on the app, I looked for her for several days, I tried searching her and asked other people if they had seen her. Finally about 5 days into this absence I saw a video that she was tagged in. I had already noticed weird happenings with this app so I had completely figured that was what the problem was and was grateful to find her again. Then when I did she blew up on me accusing me that I didn't even try to find her. I explained to her how shifty the app was and how I had been noticing things and expressing my impressions of being tested in this time. She calmed down and life went on. I was enjoying floating around tiktok and had a couple of favorite platforms that I would attend regularly.  I was at one of these platforms when she had apparently started a live. I saw the invite after the live was over and by then her live was over. I didn't think anything of it and as it was late, I went to bed. The next day I received a message from her regarding how I am a letdown and disappointment and I need to do better. Even though I didn't recognize that I was beholden to anyone, I apologized that I missed it and explained that I attended this specific live faithfully as I loved the discussions, I didn't agree with everyone, but there were beautiful people there that I respected and felt like I was learning from. She said okay and time went on for about a week and suddenly it happens again where one of her friends that she had known for some time asked me if I knew what was going on. I had no idea. I barely knew her, I thought that everyone needs kindness and compassion so when I received that video of her yelling about how many of her videos weren't being liked or something to that effect, I was completely confused? I didn't really spend time monitoring who was and wasn't watching my videos but I would make sure to respond to people who would comment on them and really made sure to focus on responding to every dm and every comment, post a video per day, and send out a morning meme to those on my phone list who wanted to receive them, and interact within my friend groups on the app. I was also trying to recover from what happened with that procedure.  I was completely dumbfounded by this behavior towards me. I phone that "mentor" and had asked him what was going on and why she was acting that way. I had the distinct impression that he knew her and she him when we had both met in a live of a person that I had considered a very kind soul and a very good friend. I relayed that I don't do "drama".  This was drama on steroids. It was overwhelming in my capacity of my body trying to overcome what it had been through. I was trying to keep myself busy. I have always been a person that enjoyed doing things. Active things. Now that I was in a doctor's ordered rest state due to the complications from the annephalaxis caused by the anesthesia. It impacted my lungs.  I was unable to do any of my normal routines I had been focused on. No matter how I feel, I have always put on the "good" face for others. 

PART 6

Recognizing that putting a "good face" on for others is not a healthy thing to do for myself had come to me in previous communication on platforms. I remember a time when I was on one of the various platforms speaking about working in the capacity of customer service in regards to plastering the "fake smile" on our face while we are in particular situations where, no matter what we are going through personally, matters to no one. How we have been conditioned to lie about our own emotions and forsaking our own mentality in situations to appease whomever may be yelling or screaming in one's face. I was an expert at this. A complete and total expert at containing all of my emotions with that smile plastered across my face while being degraded by people who may not have received a special order by the due date, people who didn't believe I knew what I was speaking of in regards to specific product (a woman couldn't possibly know anything about plumbing) literally demanding to speak to the 'supervisor'🤣 I was the supervisor 😂 , or managerial interventions regarding situations beyond anyone's control. Yes, that was me just stuffing everything deep down inside. No matter what I was struggling through in other areas of my life. The saying goes, 'keep home at home and work at work'. I argue that this is incredibly unhealthy for everyone. It creates an illusion in that lie that you are "just fine". It's not just a conditioning, it is an expectation. Doesn't matter at all if you are juggling work and a suicidal child. Not one iotta. Work must be done, it must be done with full focus on safety, and it must be done well or there are consequences. Ironic as it is coupled with this communication of a "so-called" work/life balance.  🤔 

I was made for these situations that I was encountering. I was trained quite well in that capacity throughout my life from the time I was a small child. However, I was sick of it. Sick of the drama and nonsense. My only desire was to create a platform, promote peace, divine love, positivity, and meet like minded people that held the same vision and move forward toward a better way of living for everyone. This drama was attempting  to block my path. I considered that maybe this person just couldn't see the workings of this platform the way that I did and gave grace knowing that some situations can just be challenging. He had asked me what my opinion was of why this happened. I explained my perspective to him regarding the platform, her behaviors,  and the possible reasons for them and had responded that he didn't know what was going on with her and that she wouldn't even respond to him. At that point, I dropped it. Unfortunately,  I had forgotten my own words about plastering on that fake smile and just moving on. It just got tossed into the messy pile of other offenses that I internalized to be dealt with at a later time.

PART 7

To see the truth sometimes it takes a willingness to step back, sacrifice everything that you think you know and recognize that things aren't necessarily what you believe them to be. People with agendas wear masks, hindsight is an opportunity to see reality when we choose to be brutally honest with ourselves. Acknowledging our own shortcomings is a key to evolving self, that is, if we choose to be honest and recognize the changes that we need to make in order to achieve a better self and implement those changes going forward, we forge a path for others in our self demonstration.  

I filed the previous situation into the back of my mind and forged forward in hopes that all would just resolve itself. I know myself and I am aware of how I stand in my beliefs. What I was so blissfully unaware of at the time was the workings of energy and how brutally it could impact a person. I can, without a doubt say that, had I not had this experience for myself, I never would have believed it was possible. Not that I would consider the person expressing this to me as being a liar, but that maybe they were dabbling in intoxicants or had mental health issues. I have had experiences that extend beyond levels of understanding that I never imagined myself experiencing.  

My page was doing quite well, it was fun, dynamic, thought provoking. I was thoroughly enjoying myself and others within that space seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. Within this there were things being said. "It's yours if you want it", "Do you know who you are", "If you don't want it, I'll take it". These expressions were completely confusing me as I had no idea what these people were talking about. I was completely clueless. When i would question these statements,  I was met with brick walls. I have always had exceptional intuition when it came to dangerous situations,  but within these particular circles I was at a complete loss. When others would try to express to me that some major event would happen, I would express that all is completed in divine timing and would stand in my resonate power.

I went into my favorite spiritual platform one night, so excited to listen to all the different stories and share my new inspired thoughts. ✨️ I always receive inspiration on how to better heal, bringing peace, creating better societies, self-governance, etc. What these scenarios might look like and how they might be implemented.  I loved to hear the others perception and perspective regarding these topics and loved also planting these seeds of possibilities within the paradigm that love and faith make anything and everything possible. When I arrived in the platform that particular night, I felt a peculiar friction, so much so, that even the hair on my arms were standing at attention. (Note here that no one would even know that I have any hair on my arms unless this happens 🤣😂) My body recognized the undercurrent of warning. I had been experiencing unusual thoughts lately, thoughts that I would not normally have. I had been seeing a therapist for a few years following my accident that had completely reconstructed my life. I expressed these different shifts but this particular therapist was not necessarily in tune with spiritual awareness and it seemed strange to me that I had been so positive and suddenly I was experiencing these negative thoughts and emotions. Especially since I was so powerfully strong in my belief of what the possibilities were in my own mind. One thing I will say, is that when people would say "no one wants peace" or "peace is not possible" these particular phrases would stoke the fires within me as I recognize the power of words in what we manifest and in planting those seeds outloud, creates the potential of subconscious manifestation in others. I will not lie about it, specifically it would really tick me off, yes, I recognize this counter productiveness, now. This was the first time I was had ever felt uncomfortable in this platform. I recognized many of those around me had these gifts of telepathy,  manifestations, etc, etc. But in this moment, in this time, this was when the real change began to occur. The change of energy, the brutal awareness and at the same time, the brutal naivety of myself. I went on the platform as I normally would and I could feel a distinct feeling that I was going to be under a sort of scrutiny, facing a firing squad of sorts. I had thought in that time, what is going on here? As I was questioned in regards to what made me decide to start a "peace" platform. I recognized that these people thought that I had some ulterior motive. What could possibly be the ulterior motive for peace? 😆 🤣 😂  I have to have a bit of a chuckle now as I look back on that moment. As I spoke, I regressed back into the specific moments that brought me into this time. I told the people within that platform about how I had been so broken hearted by the events in my life, about praying for peace to the four corners of the earth for hearts of humanity to heal and for peace and love for all, I shared about speaking peace within a sacred place of sharing with a circle of ladies and about how I had found this book with this prayer in it a couple of years prior, I explained about when I was a child of seven years old that my parents were fighting because my mothers crafts were strewn about the area of the enclosed back porch and my father told her if she didn't clean it up, he was going to leave. How I stayed up all night and organized her space so that my father wouldn't leave because I didn't want to be left alone with my mother. I expressed that from a small child, I had ALWAYS been trying to keep peace. I held it together in the time I was speaking. I noticed a comment by that "mentor" saying "I want to hold your hand". I needed no one to hold my hand, I was angry, he knew it. I could feel that he knew what was going on and that I was being set-up as if by some consequence they were going to expose me as some kind of fraud. I recognized it after I saw that comment, if only I had a precept to have recognized it prior to speaking. Following that display from this firing squad and the specific energy I was picking up. I had no desire to speak with him for a minute. I sent him a direct message, spoke my peace to him and let it be. It was what it was, or was it? I was having people coming to my platform asking me personal questions regarding my heritage, I have had specific instances of people accusing me of being from other countries or origins. In the grand scheme of things, I am no one other that who I am. Why is race, ethnicity, and/or color even a factor to who a person is in the mind of another. I find it absurdly toxic. Our heart and soul is what is of the utmost importance.  The Almighty creator of all of us did not create us to be bound in this toxicity. I can speak this in full authority and authenticity in knowing myself better than anyone else except the Almighty Divine Source of all existence.  I grew up with a toxic racist parent, whom expressly pressed these views into conversation at what seemed like every available opportunity. With force and in judgement,  I never allowed that to form me in anyway except to battle against it. I seriously found out that not only did I have Mexican roots but also some Kenyan, Nigerian, Columbian, Chinese, Japanese, Iberian, Italian, Spanish, French, Finn, Puerto Rican, Peruvian, Brittish, amongst other random things, a virtual melting pot I would say. I have olive skin tone and my hazel eyes change color between green, golden brown, and back to hazel according to my mood or expression. 

Following this live is when my real experience with energies began, although I didn't really understand.  During my lives I began experiencing strange happenings; currents rushing through my body, a huge log slamming through my heart space, suicidal thoughts, extreme loss of energy, extreme fluctuations in my emotional state, and the worst and most unbelievable experience of all.... being spiritually raped in both of my intimate areas as I was hosting my live peace platforms,  holding my peace in the time, but being so distracted by what was happening to me, how it could possibly be happening and where it was coming from. It was happening forcefully and constantly. It was uncomfortable. I had been in celebicy, by my own accord for 7 years. It was disturbing, disgusting, and un-holy. An assault on the spirit itself. I was going around to other platforms trying to find someone that could possibly help me, bullies were following me everywhere. It was so frustrating,  whenever I would ask someone I was greeted with the phrase "go within" until finally I ended up finding a nice lady who told me she knew exactly what was happening to me as they had done the same thing to her and she would help me. I was so grateful,  so grateful 🙏 I am still grateful, I know the Almighty placed her in my path. Know that Spiritual rape is real,  if it is happening to you or has happened to you, know that you are not insane and that there are things that can be done to resolve the situation. Please review my Energy Manipulations section for information that may be able to assist you. If you need to talk or have questions,  feel free to reach out to me through my tt DM. My prayer is that these assaults never happen to anyone ever again. There is no way to gather evidence or prove who provokes these things. The Almighty knows all though and take refuge in knowing that you are beloved and held dear within the heart of the Most High Source of the Universe. Recognize that love, forgiveness,  and compassion resolves a plethora of frustration and you will be restored through this understanding.  I am unbelievably grateful for these experiences that I suffered, for without these specific sufferings I would lack the compassion and understanding to support others. Eternally grateful 🙏 💖

Please, someone, tell me....do you really believe that The Almighty that created each one of us, values us by our looks? Many blessings to every person in this world,  you are beautiful just the way you are, let us conquer what divides us and recognize that we are not so different from each other. I divinely love you all 🥰💖

PART 8

Following my freedom from these energies, I had found out that the girl who had offered me "protection and healing", had a child who was in a car accident. I had told her what was going on in a private space on a seperate app. In this same space I had asked this small group if the rumors regarding this "blood oath" that was spreading like wildfire were actually true. To my surprise one of the five people that were in that space told me that it wasn't a big deal at all, just a little wafer thing that tastes somewhat like a penny.  I was disturbed by this, but said nothing at the time as other people came into the space I was distracted. Specifically this girl that was in the same space as I would have my astrology and human design readings done. When I had my reading done it seemed as if the girls in the space were standoffish with me, but I had noticed that she had been following me around to the various spaces suddenly pretending to be my friend, super happy to see me all the time and then all of a sudden there was a flip. Here she was in this room. I instantly felt very tired, so I just kicked back and started listening.  Then I heard them talking about how she had already met her baby that she was going to have in another realm, they were talking about transferring consciousness, then I realized that their plan was to transfer my consciousness into her body.... I was like, what in the world is this craziness? Wait... did I hear what I think I just heard? The girl who was "protecting" me said she would take care of those spiritual rapes that were happening and said, let me know whenever those things happen. I distinctly remember thinking to myself that if she thought that she was protecting me somehow,  how in the world could she not know what was going on. I left the room and was blown away, I couldn't believe it! 🙃  I was like why? Why in the world and how in the world could someone possibly transfer me into someone else? Within two days I had found that Shaman that took care of it. She explained that there were 11 people attached to me. I called my mentor and he seemed really upset, not about the rapes that were happening but about the girl who's child had got in an accident. It was odd, I was bothered, I don't like when children, whatever age they are get hurt, but I didn't understand that there was no compassion and why he was so bothered by it. Again, me in distraction. I did say that I was sorry for what happened but didn't understand in what way I was connected to it. So he explained that because she was "attached" to me that there were consequences that bounce back. I was irritated, if she knows these things then why would she put her own son at risk??? I told him about the threat I received in the comments on one of my videos, how she shouldn't have put her son at risk, and if she wouldn't have done what she did then maybe that never would have happened. I told him that all of this drama was insane and I don't do drama. It was utter nonsense again! He did go into that spiritual platform and did a little show about attacks on his family. I was just tired of all of it. I really didn't understand all of it fully yet and I had not yet realized that the greatest offender of all of it was my so-called "mentor".  

PART 9

I gratefully embrace my strong intuition, it is however, extremely diffucult to navigate when you have an energy attached to you that you are unaware of. I had zero idea that anything like that was even a possibility.  I was so blissfully unaware.  Let me say however,  there was no bliss whatsoever within this experience,  Naivety has always been a huge burden for me. My parents would more than likely say I wasn't using my head. How can you use your head if you haven't the education? It seriously saddens me that people look at certain others as lesser beings for whatever reason is in their own mind, and it saddens me even more they would take opportunity hurt, abuse, or mishandle another being that is weak or lacks knowledge as opposed to caring for, teaching, or sharing the appropriate tools that person may need. 

The next time I spoke to my mentor he expressed that I should "call my power back" i tried, it didn't work. I asked how this could possibly happen, I was so strong in Spirit of Almighty and it was if I was left. I didn't get it at all. He expressed,  finally, that if I gave power over my to someone else, that of course The Almighty will step back and let things be as they may be. Wow, talk about a mind blower, i hadn't even considered that I was giving up my protection of the most high. It was never a thought that went through my mind. Though I had made many mistakes in my life, I always knew and felt that love and protection of the Most High Source of All. Always. Even through all of those offenses I knew that I was not alone, I did not understand though what I had done wrong and how my power had been given away. It was deceit,  great deceit.

When I spoke to this mentor, I told him that I had called my power back but it didn't seem to work. He said that it is more than just speaking it. It takes a "ritual". I have never been one to do "rituals". I didn't understand them and I never wanted to ever offend the Almighty. I was raised to believe that these would be great sins that would send me to the great hellfires of eternity and I most certainly believed it.

Throughtout my spiritual journey I crossed paths with many people whom practice magic in a variety of capacities.  I view us, our very existence as being quite magical. However veiwing and practicing are two completely different things. I explored books of magic, but never put anything of what I learned into practice. I did not receive from Infinite Spirit that I should not learn it. I did, however, receive a distinct feeling that I should not practice it. I asked Almighty why I would learn it and not practice. The words came that there is consequence for every action taken in that practice. I had been working within the realms of co-creation with the comprehension that my will is God's will, always, in all ways. Whatever Divine Infinite Spirit wants for me is what I want for myself. As I express this in Divine Love and Divine guidance. I understood the Spirit, I needed to see that I did not need any of these "tools" to bring forward anything. What I did need to see was how the utilizing of magic spreads like wildfire in consequence.  There always contains a sacrifice within it whether it is black or white magic, there is a consequence.  I also understood from Spirit that I needed to recognize what was being used against me. Even manifestation is magic. When manifestation is put forward, one should recognize that when we are specific in what we desire, we may receive it and find out that it is not what we really want at all. When we manifest or practice any type of magic it has potential to impact the free will or desire of another, we are also manifesting consequences for ourself. We may receive that job, house, opportunity,  or partner. We will also suffer for it. Know there is a right way to receive and a wrong way and choose your path wisely. I highly recommend Florence Schovel Shinn's book "The Game of Life and How to Play it" to learn the appropriate ways to co-create. When we properly align our own will with the will of The Most High, we are abundant in ALL ways! Recognizing within this the power of love and the force of authenticity and really, truly loving Our Mighty Creator makes all the difference in our existence.  Never use the Almighty for self gain, you will reap what you sow. You must first find that true love of source within you, it is completely visible in nature. Seek and you will find. Be faithful and grateful in all ways, miracles are all around you, open your eyes, you will see them. 

PART 10

When my mentor spoke to me about a special ritual, that you can't just take your power back, I wondered to myself, really? How can that be? I had been attending a "sacred fire" for a bit and was ready to speak those things that I needed to speak. It was time for my soul baptism by fire. As I came closer to the time, there were a couple more issues with my mentor and I stood up to him. I have mercy and grace, I still knew there was a lie in there somewhere, just couldn't place my finger on it. I also felt this weird pull. My emotions were in constant flux. My therapist was concerned, never having heard, or seen me in this condition for some time. I knew part of it was the spiritual rape, the sacrilege of it. It was not a rape of the material body, no it was the spirit, the Holy Spirit within me that was abused and offended. This in essence is what would be considered a "mocking" of what is sacred. Following the time with my therapist,  I was in prayer and I was given another vision. It was the vision of being naked in the soul, completing the rainbow bridge, and returning to the garden. Eden, the garden of peace, abundance, joy, happiness, harmony, bliss. All of these things wrapped up into paradise. I see my therapist every week and so my next appointment I had told her. She asked me how I was gonna do it and I had told her that I had someone that had asked me if I would do a video with him.

I thought maybe it had something to do with the peace prayer or something until the lady that did my human design had popped in on my live and asked if I would do a video with her. I was thinking, okay I can do videos with two people, why not. Lol, still no clue to this day that was all about. 

When I spoke to him the next time, I told him about the vision that I had received. About how I thought that we were meant to work together on it. I had connected what he had said in the beginning of conversations to the recent vision. I pitched to him that I was only giving him part of it because I recognized when he told me that he spent time with this girl to help her heal. He allowed her to see inside his heart so she gained a pathway in. How was she knowing all these things? It seemed as if he was under some type of spell. At least, that is what he was portraying to me. I noticed this girl was repeating word for word things I had been saying, coming into my platform and speaking my words to me. Then I asked her if she could give me a call regarding something to do with other girls being impacted in the same areas of injury I carried. I was concerned for all these girls, I feared that they were being attacked as I had been. I had been moving around the various platforms observing others to see if I could figure out what the source of these occurrences were. Listening, observing, taking note, and as I saw her as being closer with these girls, I reached out thinking maybe she would share with them what I had found so we could all be safe. When she called, she right away said she was going to call my mentor, using his name which he had shared with me asking never to let anyone know. I became instantly on guard, it was the confirmation of the manipulations that I witnessed in my platform. After that call, I phoned him and asked him if he was aware of what was happening and if he was part of it. As he paused I heard a soft voice say "babe, are you ready to go?" There was the lie, another confirmation. He had always said that he had a "roommate", in my experience,  never have I ever had a "roommate" call me babe. Lol, okay, so grateful 🙏 for truth 🥰. Truth ushers in clarity, frees us from illusion. I was extremely grateful that I had "friend-zoned" this Mentor right from the get go! What I did not understand was the connected feeling I was having.  The feeling that I knew this person, or how it seemed so perfectly aligned to what a friend of mine had told me about back in 1998. It was so strange. Following this he and this girl on her platform talked about this vision. I found this out later as I had happened upon her talking about it in someone else's live. He had been scheduled for a "work" trip in which he had told me he would have plenty of time in the evenings to work on recordings through Zoom. When I learned the truth, I asked him, does this mean we are not doing the project? He said, "oh, yes, we will be working on the project." He said he would be in contact as he often was and messaged me when he was leaving. The day after he left he messaged and said that he would be going to dinner with his boss and would call me the next day. He called that night and I was headed out the door with my daughter. He was upset, I told him that what he needed to do was look within himself. Think about what was happening and seek out answers through Source. I would speak with him the next day. That night was my purification. My fire baptism as I had released so many things I had been holding for so long, as I put my arms in the flames and swept them towards my heart,I gratefully thanked the Most Divine Source of ALL things for rising me from the ashes into purity. Cleansed, all I needed to do was bathe. As I have no bath, it would be a shower of course, cleansing is cleansing, right? Well, he called me first thing in the morning and I asked him what he found when he went in. I have no recollection of what he replied in that time because I was a bit dumb-founded as it made no sense to me at all. I remember telling him that he really needed to go into nature, I remember telling him that I knew he was in a relationship with his "roommate" and that I heard her call him "babe", I told him that I was not a consideration for him, as I recognize the trappings of that karma, for what we do unto others we also do unto ourselves. I have no desire to be a cause of pain and heartache to another person. I never have and I never would want to. I told him he had no business dragging another girl into a karmic situation and it would not be fair to her as he admitted that he was living in lies within his relationship.  I told him that as long as he lies to others, he is the creator of the illusions and delusions that he places over others. That he should be aware of these consequences,  that relationships that we have are sacred, our energy is sacred. That as the woman absorbs the seed of the man, that dna is absorbed into a stronger intuitive connection and there are consequences.  He communicated that he was in fear. I asked what he was in fear of. He was in fear of the "roomate", so he said. I said, "well, you really need to consider what your choices are as they all carry consequences and living in truth and knowing there is nothing to fear when you have the Almighty as your protection." I recommended again, he take some time in the forrest and seek clarity.  Following this I suddenly began receiving Stabbing throughout the entire region of my back. Over and over as if I was being repeatedly stabbed over and over again by 10,000 swords. I've never felt anything like it. It was unbelievably painful, I was trying to work Hatha (breath work) it wasn't working, I couldn't sit back, couldn't sit forward, couldn't eat, couldn't have any comfort whatsoever, I had tears pouring down my face constantly. Then he calls me back while I'm experiencing this. My calm was maintained with intermittent wincing, I spoke to him as I had prior. Calm, collected, while I suffered. He was crying, I was concerned.  He maintained that we would still be working on this project and I explained to him that I was experiencing these afflictions of Stabbing in the back, he tried to tell me that it was my karma. I relayed to him that I knew it was not. I reminded him of the night that girl called me and how she was bragging about what an amazing manifester she was. I explained that if he held me in his heart and her desire was to have him, that it could create a situation to remove a person so she could receive what she wanted. As I had no interest in someone who would step out, lie, or anything within the realm of creating illusion over another, that was the only thing I could think of that it could possibly be. I recognize that foundations built on lies and manipulations crumble and that is not the game for me. I suffered through all of it for several days before I finally contacted my Shaman and he was able to take care of it. What I recognized was it was some type of magic. My Shaman expressly communicated with me that it was a good thing that they were not accomplished at what they were doing, or he might not have been able to help me. He place a special blessing over me and protection. He confirmed that it was magic they were practicing.  Eternal gratitude for my Shaman who has lead me into a powerful path of truth. All pain fell off within 24 hours. I was able to shower and become fully cleansed.

I spoke to my mentor. Let him know that all was good but that I needed to stay off social media away from that nonsense. I didn't want anyone touching my energy to be harmed. I didn't want to have to go around and warn anyone that it would be dangerous to touch me without authority. So, I stayed away. I focused on arts, crafting, reading, and I had just picked up tao song and dance 💃  oh how I love tao song and dance 💖 so centering and calming. Zero tension. My mentor had asked me to hang with him for just two weeks so he could get things sorted prior to working on the project. I waited, in fact, I hadn't heard anything from him, but I returned to social media after deactivating my account only to end a couple subscriptions as I noticed I was still being charged even though I wasn't on there. That's when I noticed an interesting video he posted, causing me to question what exactly was going on. It was very strange the feeling it gave me. 😕 I went back off and waited until 6 days past the alloted two week period of time then I sent him a message, told him I would seek out someone else to do my project with. I was not waiting anymore. When I have a fire under me from spirit....I move, always in the grace of the Most High. I was feeling the pressure of moving forward to get this done. This was not my vision, it was The Most High's vision expressed through me. I am a mere vessel for the messenger, the prophet, the truth. I suddenly started experiencing extreme emotional swings, out of nowhere, as if I were in a sudden obsession. Swinging back and forth from one emotion to the next. I was praying 🙏 calling out, what is going on here? I woke up happy, grateful,  loving and out of nowhere I am slammed with all of this obsessive emotion with tears and everything. Within the moment was a sudden revelation, oh, wait a second, this isn't me, this has never been me, not ever over a man, ever. What was going on? I was being blocked even in practicing tao.  That was when I blocked him. Everywhere, social media, phone, everything.  All of a sudden, everything fell off. Done. Hmmm, interesting 🤔 peace has returned in full. No more attachment, no more nonsense,  or so I thought 🤣😂.

I returned to social media and that was when I found that girl talking again about what an amazing manifester she is and how she will get what she wants because she does everything right and so on. The platform creator said, but what about the people you potentially harmful. She responded "oh, I don't care". She commented that she was experiencing extreme stabbing pains in her back, sounded so familiar to me. I was praying over them, love, grace, peace, all good things. I asked the creator of the platform if he could get me a copy of that part and he said he would try. It didn't end up working out though. I get it. I would struggle with doing that myself. It is what it is. I recognized that this was a suffering that no one needed as I had experienced it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It brings me no pleasure whatsoever, I thought that it was her possible karma flowing back to her. Regardless,  I felt a sadness over it. I contacted my "mentor" and expressed what I had witnessed, by that point I saw what was really going on. He told me that he was battling her, that she was being obsessive and he asked her to stop calling him and she wouldn't quit. I was fed up with all of it.

PART 11

I told him that even though I knew what she had done to me I still love her as I felt she didn't recognize the repercussions of her actions, but then I also recognized what she said regarding not caring about who she impacted. I recognized in that time that she also had a right angle cross of incarnation (she had expressed this within the phone call at the same time she was bragging about what a great and powerful manifester she is) and equate this as a material body incarnation of an outwardly spirit. I had learned about the incarnations through the codices in the Popol Wuh. Very interesting I had thought to myself. Then I remembered about the Pandora star that was hurtling toward me in my star 🌟 chart. Instantly the light switched on and I recognized her to be that pandora as it coincided in timing. He was of the mind that I was spelling him somehow, I was of the mind that he was being narcissisticly manipulated and I had also recognized that there was still this powerful connection that even my Shaman had acknowledged.  I told him I couldn't remove and my Shaman said "I know". Following this interaction with my mentor, I had all of these emotions flowing in and out, in extremes. His friend that had come into my live that had been waiting for the opportunity to be on the panel to play madlibs had contacted me. Within those communications he had expressed that he had mother wounds and I recognized that maybe he could assist my "mentor" with this somehow as he said that he had "healed" from these wounds. I expressed that I had an expressed memory of when I was a child of 7 years old and had separated from myself within a dream state. My mentor said "yes, I remember, and you abandoned me". He sounded angered when he said it. I had shared this with this "mutual-friend". He agreed to try to assist. What I had no idea of at the time was the lengths that this would be taken to. I later found out that the "friend" and the "mentor" worked moon magic together to bind, destroy, and bring death to me. I hold a great capacity of empathy, I recognize that there are powers and principalities in these times that are beyond our capacity of understanding,  I gave all to the Almighty, called upon justice, that all wrongs be righted, all timelines be restored to what was written and expressly aligned my will to the will of The Almighty. I knew that what was going on was extraordinary. I called for my freedom and protection and I became whole again. I have completely forgiven all of these people, they are children of the Creator, I speak love, mercy, and grace over all of humanity consistently. My truest desires align with The Most High that not one be lost. I genuinely hope with my whole heart, that as I have escaped illusion with the separation from these delusions, that others find their true path of escape from nonsense. As I called for my freedom, I came back into reality. I now recognize the projected purpose and magic that was intentionally pushed toward me and am grateful 🙏 for everything God gives and takes, for it us all in purpose of what is to come. I am grateful for my abundant life, grateful for my independence,  grateful for my freedom, grateful for The Holy Spirit that thrives in me, I am grateful for every lesson, I am grateful for every hardship, I am grateful for my Loving heart, I am eternally grateful for so many things! For without The Divine Source of the Universe,  I am nothing.

Illusion, Delusion, Pomp & Circumstance

May 9th, 2024

Being one that really enjoys the company of friends and finding immense joy in social situations,  I really enjoy my open heart. I love embracing people, I love to help others. I am an empath and throughout my life I have been a person that others have come to with their struggles and in this I have found a sense of integrity within myself. I met a new friend floating through social media. This person portrayed excitement when I had popped in their live and told me that they had been to my live several times and was waiting for their opportunity to play madlibs on the panel. I said, make sure when you are in the next time, say something and I would bring them up. The next time they came in, this person was brought up to play some madlibs. There were introductions and he seemed to know some of these people and specifically said he knew my moderator/mentor/partner very well. I assumed they had a friendship. A couple weeks go by and there had been some drama going on within the community. I do my utmost to avoid drama and smooth things out with others, recognizing that said dramas increase negative frequencies and that showing and demonstrating, love, compassion and caring for others in their times of need can make a difference in someone's life as these very actions have lifted me up in my past situations.  I was struggling with communication with whom I believed was my mentor and this other person that seemed to have been friends with him approached me. I knew that he was struggling. He had lost his job and had also been evicted from his home. He has children and a wife. Many of the people in this group were struggling through things. I had been speaking on proper ways of manifestation working within the laws of the universe and co-creating within that realm for appropriate outcomes that aren't shrouded in karmetic effect. So when this person approached me for assistance,  I thought nothing about it. He had been sharing his artwork on his live and I love to see these things being shared. Encouraging more of these healthy aspects of exploration of art creates expansion of growth and joy in our hearts. I love these things being shared, I find it inspirational! 

When this person contacted me asking who I was, I was a bit confused. He was saying something about someone else telling him that he didn't have much time left in this life and he needed to submit to something/someone. I was trying to take it all in and he was also talking about the Godhead and whatnot and asking about how those things worked. I do not have all of the knowledge but there are certain things that I do know to be true through cultural studies in my own personal journey. At that time I was going with what I had gleaned from others and certain things that I had received. He asked me if I was Gaia incarnate. To this I said no. I had received at one point in my journey a few years prior an amulet that was turned to stone, one side of this rock is a dragon with horns, the other side embossed letters in paleo hebrew. I had already begun my path into studying paleo hebrew as I wanted to interpret writings on the Los Lunas stone for myself. No longer trusting what others interpretations were after running into a couple oddities in that realm.  I told him that I received that stone and that others had referred to me as a force of nature. I thought that the closest reference would be defined as mother nature, but I had never considered myself to be incarnate. I was aware that I had some special gifts, but don't we all?  I, in fact, felt like I was beneath a level of understanding within those definitions, but I was really trying to go with the flow, as they say, and meet others at their level.

Not long following this conversation there were a couple other things that came forward, I had been surprised by a  creator that does human design with a free reading of my choice and I chose an astrology reading. It was beautiful,  an incredible gift. I felt so blessed in that moment. Many things were confirmed for me and there were many more surprises. This friend had showed up during that reading and saw many of the things that she had said, in fact, the room had around 12 or so people in it at first and the numbers grew up into the 50s for the duration of my reading. Following this, chaos ensues. I am being told that I don't need to do this or that, and that they will do it or have already done it. Curious as I didn't write my own star chart. I don't understand other people's obsession with taking what is destined for another, what I do know is that destiny is destiny and what is written in the stars will not be undone.

He had told me that he was Odin. I didn't believe it was my place to correct anyone in their specific belief.  I just listened to what he had to say. He had shared with me some things that he went through regarding being rejected by his mother and a feeling of abandonment that he went through and had healed from. I recognized that these were some of the same things that my "mentor" had shared with me. I told him that maybe he would be able to assist said "mentor" since he had experience in this arena. There were some things that had occurred that I did not wish to be part of but I did not want this person to feel abandoned,  and my hope was that through communication of like experiences,  maybe these two could help each other and encouraged him to reach out to the other person. I did share my experience of remembering a dream from childhood of seperating myself from myself in a dream state at the age of 7 after experiencing several traumatic experiences.  These memories had recently returned to me within the remembrance of those traumas. I shared what I had seen and remembered with this person and he returned understanding by responding that that person (the mentor) was part of my soul. He had asked me what I wanted and as I had been consistently feeling influxes of emotion that didnt belong to me out of nowhere and i felt feelings tapping on my energy and i was picking up telepathic thoughts consistently,  i was becoming frustrated.  I had been on a healing journey for some time and was released by my doctor to get back to it. I expressed that my desire was for that person (the mentor) to refrain from pushing these emotions on me and to know that we could be seperate without that being a constant. Expressly, my desire was that my energy be respected, ie; asking me prior to touching me. What I didnt know was that there were others that were all attached to him as well. As I understand this, what I had expressed to the friend was taken and twisted into something entirely different. Here is where it gets murky. The next day i was called by my friend and there was a whole lot of yelling, swearing and violence going on, not 5 minutes prior to receiving that phone call, I had a vision of that person behind bars. When i picked up the phone and heard all the commotion, I immediately told them what I had seen and told them they need to leave the situation immediately and shared what I had seen. He asked me if he should leave his son or take his son. I had told him whatever it is he wanted to do, as long as he left right away. I really just didn't want to see him going to jail and at the same time it was so volitile that I was concerned for those children. I spoke to him on the phone until his friend arrived to pick him up. Later on that night he called me and wanted to talk, he had returned back to his home, he sounded like he had calmed down quite a bit and I was grateful for that until he began relaying to me that he had seen me in the Astro and in his words "We danced, we sang, and we did what we did" I was immediately bothered and I know my tone was clipped when I returned back his comment with "I don't dream" I was very disturbed. He knew exactly how I felt and knew that I was not interested in him in that way whatsoever. I was honestly horrified, and to top it off he goes on to explain that I would not be reconciled with my soul until December.  I was angry at this point as I felt like people were creating my destiny for me without including me in any process or communication. It was in that moment that I realized that there were more manipulations happening that I hadn't been paying close attention to. I was so worried about those kiddos and the volitile situation being so explosive that I had neglected to pay attention to my own intuition.  I blew up on him. Following that incident he began messaging me things that were disturbing about begging for money from his slaves and such. I blocked and deleted him on social media as well as my phone. It was later revealed to me that someone was spreading around that we had some type of alignment. I was like what? Says who? Why am i not getting a choice in what goes on in my atmosphere that someone else determines without my authority who I am and am not with? For one thing, I never align myself with anyone who is within a commitment let alone a marriage. A marriage is an oath. Subject to universal laws regarding cause and effect and compensation. I have no desire to bring any of these things upon myself let alone visiting them upon others. I stand in my integrity in these things. Yes, I called upon the scales of justice and the spirit of truth to right all wrongs and restore all timelines, and I called it out to the source of all being as I recognized that I know where my heart was in authenticity in trying to help another person that was experiencing difficulties in their life. Does this situation impact my desire to help when people need it? No, I will always do what I can to help others for it matters not what their agenda is toward me, what matters is my mission to bring healing to others. I truly, unconditionally love people. Recognize within this statement that unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior. The way we treat each other means something and cause and effect carry consequences in every situation. There is no way of getting around it. A key here, do not agree to what you do not understand,  to what you may not have heard, or what you think you hear. Clarity is huge. Stand up for yourself whether it offends someone or not, that is powerful protection. Self love is standing up in your own belief. All I wish for all of these people is healing and hope, love and abundance, peace and joy. 

**Understand that I have removed the areas where name is to protect the identity of this person.

Judgement 

or

No Judgement 

May 5, 2024

Having given much thought to the happenings surrounding my social media experiences,  I am quite frankly disturbed. I am concerned for those entering into the spiritual realms of unaware of the dangers that can occur.

Our energy is sacred, we are sacred, we are ALL created of Divine Love. Stitched in the womb and known is the count of our hair on our head. 

I entered this realm excited to find people like me, friends with similar experiences, a "soul" family per say. I love these people, so much. With this being said, I was unaware of the many masks worn within this realm. I have always carried a certain naivety when it comes to people, I have always accepted them for who they expressed themselves to be. In this I recognize another connection to my childhood. As I was raised in an extremely judgemental environment,  I didn't understand why I wouldn't be able to play with this person or that person because they were "bad". A particular story comes to mind. I was 4 years old when we moved into the house that ended up being our permanent residence for the remaining of my schooling. I remember the first friend I met. He was a real nice boy, the same age as me. We attended the same schools together for many of those years. He didn't have a bicycle and asked if he could ride mine, I was taught to share and was always happy to. We had fun and played together. After about a week my mother told me I would no longer play with him because he was "bad". I asked why, the consistent reply to "why" was always "because I said so".  I wrestled with these judgements the entirety of my childhood, it was frustrating as I saw these other children as children, just like me. To place upon such a small child a responsibility of rejection towards their peers is abhorrent. How is a child's behavior marked by parents judgement? Which way are they to choose? Punishment came with disobedience yet there was school. This specific boy was in every one of my classes all the way to 6th grade. I remember having a certain fear surrounding even talking to him after my mother made her demand. In later years I happened to run into this boy, all grown with his wife, a super wonderful couple. Business owners, upstanding citizens, it was great to catch up and talk about the elementary days. I saw my mom shortly after that and said "guess who I ran into?".  I told her, she screwed up her face and said, "oh, I can't stand that kid, he's so rude" I said, "really? Why? He seems so nice" She replied " because he walked into our house without knocking" I was in complete disbelief. I said to my mother "what? Are you kidding me? He was a just a little boy! Have you ever considered that he walked in because he felt safe?" 🤔  "He was only 4" This still blows me away, it is beyond me that someone could express and hold this kind of disgust for a child more than 40 years for no good reason. Having grown up in this judgement of others seemed to form me to not care what other people said about someone,  I would choose for myself. I always give people a chance, I always step forward in love and optimism. I'm not seeking out the "bad" I would much rather be hurt by a deceptive person than miss out on a beautiful friendship because of someone else's opinion. In the spiritual arena this has been most difficult though. As I speak of these things that have occurred within this realm of spirituality on social media, it is not with intent of hurting others, but in bringing awareness to things that have happened to myself so that there is an awareness to what can occur, how it can occur, and what you need to be aware of so you can keep yourself protected.

One thing I can say with utter certainty is that some of those older sayings hold so much value. In this case I apply the old saying, 'When someone is pointing a finger, three are pointing back at them.) 

Relating judgement to our sacred energy is recognizing that what we place on others, we also place over ourselves, family members, friends, or anyone that is engaged within said judgement.  In effect it increases uncomfortable atmospheres, hurt feelings, and utterly destroys opportunities for growth in building communications within relationships expanding negative energies. As we are all divine beings, holding judgement breaks down our spiritual body and is demonstrated by metaphysics within the physical body. By absorbing this negativity we insult our sacred self, our very soul. Speak love over each other, speak peace, be kind, and as my beautiful, wise grandmother used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I would say that these are wonderful words to live by.

Reflections & Musings

of

Communication

May 4, 2024

Considering communications in relationships, I recognize that we do not always communicate with people in the same manner. We, all being uniquely individual, have learned our communication definitions through many aspects. Our first education typically begins with family, and familial extensions. In my observation of my own childhood, I remember these interactions to be somewhat disturbing. As a child growing up in the atmosphere of children are to be seen and not heard. The communications seemed to be focused around wrong doing, responsibility,  and respect. To say the phrase, "You better not do anything to embarrass me" really brings past conversations full circle in my recognition of my own self expression.  My father had a huge family with 8 sisters, my mothers family was smaller. She had 1 sister and 2 brothers. The family dynamics seemed to be polarity. Both of my parents had different behavior when they were around family. This behavior would shift when we attended church, and still there were other behaviors that were expressed in the privacy of our home. I'm sure that I am not the only person in this world that has experienced these types of demonstrations in behavior. As I consider current relationship happenings between friends, acquaintances, my own children, and my family, I am taken back into my past to recognize how the past impacts the present. These things that we carry in communication are learned behaviors that become ingrained within us. To recognize that we have the ability to restructure our interactions through proper, respectful communication is powerful. Where do we begin with retraining our communication though? 🤔 How do we navigate our own challenges within ourself? How do we stabilize and balance our expression when we feel like we aren't heard? Does it really matter if we are heard at all? 🤔  There is so much I feel that can change for the better if proper communication was implemented in the education system at the beginning. That is my opinion. It is bothersome to me that I have experienced so many adults that bully people. To what purpose? Do they see what they are teaching their children? Do they recognize how cause and effect works? Everyone is up in arms when something devastating occurs as an outcome of bullying, yet they negate to recognize the bully within themselves. Don't get me wrong, I completely recognize that hurt people, hurt people. How do we move forward to make changes in these areas? I say that the change begins with each one of us in individual self reflection.  I recognize that in my own behavior at times where my intent is not necessarily to bully but to make light what is an uncomfortable situation that I may be experiencing.  As I reflect within myself I see where the defenses I created in self preservation as a child may impact current situations I experience. My main trip up tends to be sarcasm or making a joke out of the situation. I recognize that these reactions can create more unhealthy communication circumstances. So as I am on a mission of improving myself and relationships I work diligently at trying to meet people in conversation to learn more healthy ways to communicate and what is healthy and what is not. For me personally, it is easier for me to learn through experience or action. I have read lots of books where I get inspiration or ideas, but putting into practice can be a challenge.  I have noticed in my journey that so many people are triggered in communication, myself included.  I am one who just can't hear someone when they are yelling. I have no idea what they are saying. It's like my brain just shuts down and I am rushed back into the state of childhood. Within this recognition I see opportunity.  This is where I recognized my discomfort is born. To recognize that I created mechanisms of protection as unhealthy boundaries of joking or sarcasm helps me to recognize that my impact on someone else who may be hurt by something I say in my own self protection is the beginning of my change, but where do I go from here? My grandmother always told me to treat people how they want to be treated. How do I get there? I try meeting people on their level but do I sacrifice my own beliefs to pacify another? How am I to create this balance when there are so many polarities of personality, behavior, and communication? I love people, I always have. So many friends that I have encountered on my journey have been critical in my self development. I am grateful for every occurrence positive and negative as they inspire my own growth. Knowing that we are all a work in progress creates the opportunity to bestow grace upon ourself. If we can afford grace for our own shortcomings and continue to work on our own self improvement, opens the door for have immense grace for others. Forgiving ourselves and forgiving those who assist in shaping and forming our initial behavioral patterns becomes easier as we can connect our own to circumstances in developmental processes. Recognizing that those who contribute to our mental development were also subjected to specific behavior development patterns, affords us an opportunity to truly forgive and let go of that impact.

I genuinely thank all of you who have touched my life. Thank you for being here and sharing my story ❤️  I love you all!

The Project Begins

May 1, 2024

Following being diverted from the original plan of working with whom I believed was my mentor/partner in this project of the vision that I had received of becoming naked in the soul, the completion of the Rainbow Bridge, and the sacred path returning to the garden. 

I sat in prayer with the spirit and asked which way I should go. A few names popped into my head. Recognizing that these were all people who had recording equipment as the original plan was to complete q&a recordings of my stories and developing the connections between traumas and behavioral choices that connect us to triggers and trip ups that prevent us from moving forward and receiving true pleasure, happiness,  and joy in the current world. 

I approached the first person that was delivered and was aware that while they were a person that was connected to a group that I wasn't completely sure of as there had been some manipulations that seemed to stem directly from them,  (That story is coming soon.) that, I should be aware and trust my instincts and of course follow the path according to the will of The Most High. I walked into this with my eyes open. I wasn't positive about trust with this person but I always trust The Most High. One of my missions is connecting relationships, ups and downs with communications, breakdowns, the why's and how's of what works and what doesn't and why not. All in the interest of Divine Love and Truth. 

In the approach I recognized that I had no money to contribute, but I did have my story and those things that I had been working on in both therapy and on my own. My accomplishments,  set backs, things that worked and didn't work. I had offered that if he could do this with me in this q&a type of situation and record all the stories,  that he and the original person that I had planned on working with, could edit them together as that original person would be part of that story, I did not want to leave them out of it. I told each of them individually that I wanted no money from the original project and they could split whatever came from doing said original project, as my purpose was a gift to humanity and part of my mission. They agreed and we commenced working on this project together. I had initially pitched the project to this person on Friday the 16th of February as I was motivated to get this project completed in a timely manner. We began working on it right away that very weekend. Sharing first the visions on recording then my early childhood to Junior High in the first recording, and the second recording to high school graduation. Then this person had to move and we were put on hold for a couple weeks. I understood that things happen in people's lives that are at times beyond our control. As I was sharing these things I had again brought up the plan about q&a and he said he understood,  but there were no questions. I thought, well, I'll just roll with it and I know, God ALWAYS has a plan. As time passed, there were certain things that came forward into my reality. I noticed that the thoughts and ideas I was sharing with this person were being expressed in their 'live' shows. I had expressly requested that nothing that I shared in those times be expressed until we had completed this project. After witnessing this person utilize what I had specifically requested not be shared, I reminded him of my expectations. He assured me it wouldn't happen anymore and was busy trying to get his things moved. He had shared with me a screenshot of something I already was aware of. I expressed that I was already aware of these things that were happening, I had in fact had known two days prior. We had, at that time, over 7 hours of recordings put together.  I was unsure of which way to go with the editing of the project concerning the other person at time and the project being pushed out further than anticipated as things were already being pushed back. I knew the other person had money issues and I did wish to help them as well as the person I was working with. I ended up just waiting on the other person to attend to his personal life needs and relied on Divine timing, keeping in touch with this person along the way. During this time he shared many things about the other person, confirming some things and causing me to question others. I recognized that there were manipulations happening regarding this project. When this person managed to get settled again, there was always something getting in the way of getting things done. I was unsure of the confidentiality of this person and their professional fortitude.  It was becoming clear to me that I would no longer be able to work with them as I went to yet another 'live' and lo and behold, here is another thing I spoke of through the recordings being shared in this space by the person I was working with. There were specific people involved, in fact, several specific people. After hearing what I spoke of the vision given to me, I went up and shared the actual vision with all who was in the live. That was the third time I had shared this vision publicly. I don't share visions for my own gain. These visions are gifts from the spirit and are meant to be shared in the correct times. I listen to Spirit and only share according to when I feel the urge from Spirit to do so. As I was sharing this I noticed a comment in the comments section to a specific person telling them that I was their 🎯 💫💥. I recognized I was being set up and that was the catalyst that spurred me to end working with this person any longer. I had seen what I was meant to see in the capacity of being a target. I cut ties and blocked them after sending them a message and saying I could no longer work with them on this project.

I hold no ill will toward this person, in fact, I send good will, prosperity,  and healing over them by the Most Divine. I again recognize that these instances are opportunities to recognize behaviors and connect Universal Law in accordance.  I have faith always that what The Most High gives no man can take away and all wrongs are righted. I'm not going to lie about it and say it doesn't bother me to be played with, strung along, and used. Lying about that would create an illusion over myself. I acknowledge that irritation as it directly impacts my desire to be openly communicative with the world about healing, life struggles, and coming full circle into the beautiful Divine beings that we are. I take no pleasure in evicting people out of my space,  I LOVE people, I always have. I recognize that there are times that things must be done in expression of love of self, respect of self, and consideration of the greater good. There will be a point when I re-open doors to those people again, however it will have to wait until I am no longer a focus of their manipulations. I thank my Creator for always exposing truth to me in the most interesting ways. I appreciate all that I am learning in regards to this time! 🙏 

Lies, Manipulations, Blogging

Monday April 29th 

How do we define trust? 🤔 Webster's 1972 New World Dictionary defines it as such:

Firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity,  reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing; faith; reliance the person or thing trusted.

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." 

Ernest Hemingway

I love to inspire people, it is rewarding, it is exhilarating,  fulfilling, and really, I find it to be fun! I have found in the very recent past however, when I have shared the beautiful visions and inspired thoughts with people that I believed I could trust,  I was misguided. Many things that I have shared have been taken and used by others. Not so bad theoretically,  except, that when it has been done, situations surrounding these incidents highlight an alternate purpose, or an intention of manipulation. 

This particular situation was the catalyst for beginning this website and starting my own blog. 

I was approached in a three way call by a person that I considered to be a trustworthy friend. Believing in God, spiritual, teacher, wanting to help children. What's not to trust? She shared personal things with me and I with her. She was aware that I was working on a project with someone and I was keeping things under wraps because I didn't want interference with it. So I didn't go into depths about who I was working with and why. At any rate, I received an invite and posted a first post of a Bible verse on April 19th 2024. We had a conversation the next day about what I was going to post, if there was anyone that I may want to invite, and about my vision and connecting Sacred Law in the 12 Universal Laws. The sacredness of our energy and connecting healing through recognizing our own path and specific ties directly connecting to cause and effect and the Law of Compensation. 

First thing in the morning following, I was blocked and deleted from the web page by both girls without explanation. I wondered how difficult it would be to set one up for myself. I am disabled and struggle with technologies changes since I had previously been on a medication that caused muscular annephalaxis (sp?). My cranium had been squeezed up and have been working on retrieving speech, words, thoughts, memory, etc... since. I have been off that med for a couple years now and am coming along nicely, however there are many things I have been having to relearn. I found that there was a blog I could start for free on this site and I wanted I could upgrade for only a buck the first three months. I got started and got a post out, design and colors, etc and was excited to begin sharing my story with whoever is interested. I've been told by so many people that I should write a book. So I published my very first post on April 23, 2024. The next day i spent time with trying to connect my email, in which i am still working on (thank you for your patience!) On the 25th, I posted my second post in the morning while my caregiver was here. I had shared with her what happened, she is wonderful and has helped me through many difficult times. She read what i had posted and of course she said i did well with it and tried to assist me with connecting the mailbox as well (to no avail) oh well, thats the way it just goes sometimes. Things happen when they are meant to all in divine timing of course. That day my Caregiver left at around 12:30 PST. I was sitting here following up on direct messages in tiktok and I receive a notification from the website that i was removed from that there was a new post. Specifically written by my "friend" entitled "The Road to Eden".  Yes, i am disappointed and hurt. This was a direct vision from God given to me that was directly connected to my mission in healing and love and it felt like i was set up purposfully to be taken from. This for me was a special gift from my maker who inspires me daily and I honor what i am given and am driven to do everything that I am meant to by and for my creator. I know that i will be restored as i continue to live by faith in grace every day. As I continue to make my will God's will consistently. What my true desire out of this is healing. Not only for myself, for all! I believe it can happen. Love heals all things. I forgive these girls for their lies and manipulations. I forgive them for attempting to take from me what spirit has given me. I understand Universal Law, Cause and Effect and the Law of Compensation play a direct part in this, or will at some point as I have direct knowledge and experience with both of these laws. I know what has been taken will be restored and I am grateful.  I wish them both love and happiness and that along the way they both find truth and love within themselves.  We all have the ability to speak with and be inspired by The most High, all we need to do ask with the right intention, desiring the right purpose, from the right place...our Heart. I love you all! Thank you for your time!

The Vision

April 27, 2024

Speaking of this amazing gift of vision, I take great reverence in the Spirit of The Most High and am humbly grateful for this beautiful sacred vision. In its entirety, it expresses the completion of the Rainbow Bridge and the sacred path to the garden. In the vision it was expressly pressed upon me what our purpose is in this time, the fall of man and truth. As expressed in the bible, they had bitten of fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. My personal vision began with the finding of the shame. To recognize that in the garden there were no material bodies. Material bodies were bestowed upon the exit of the garden. God showed me that Adam & Eve were recognized to be specifically naked in their soul. In discernment I recognized that this shame that they had came from the spark of consciousness. God then showed me that their illusion came into being through attempting to hide themselves, expressly "truth". This became the beacon of light that illuminated the sacred way as I recognized that being outside of truth creates illusion and equally opposite to be in full truth brings one into full awareness and the reality and truth of our existence. We all hold purpose. We are each divinely created. We each are a vessel of divine love. We each are created of love, stitched in the womb of our Mother and known are we by the number of hairs on our head. We are worthy of taking this path and returning to the garden if we so choose to acknowledge our own impact in societal influence as well as ourselves. Choosing to navigate and reconcile these transgressions is an opportunity,  in fact I would say it is one of the most beautiful opportunities as we learn that we are not so different from each other within the realm of trials and tribulations. The vision illuminated the weightlessness that occurs from the unloading of these burdens of lies. The complete redemption process as we come into unashamedly baring naked our soul without fear of trial, punishment, sorrow, or judgement.  As Divine love embraces all truth, know that in divine guidance each will be fully embraced in love, acceptance,  grace, and mercy. Our hardships diminish and the path is clearly visible. As Jesus is described as the spirit of truth made manifest in flesh, it makes possible a connect to the bible regarding judgement day and the words of Jesus.

Matthew 7:21-23

Not everyone who says to me "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven. On that day many will say to me "Lord,Lord" "did we not prophesy in thy name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?" And then will I declare to them, "I never knew you; depart from me you workers of lawlessness."

Only by recognizing and coming out of our fear of judgement and facing the naked truth within us can we be free to move forward toward the sacred path. Illuminating our own shortcomings in relationships with others we begin to recognize the reasons why commands were presented biblically. I would prefer they were respectfully recognized as personal responsibilities in regards to ourself and others. In not being "told" what to do versus the recognition of keeping a responsibility to a conscious and considerate responsibility of humanity is key in this realm of thinking.  Consider, if you will, the cause and effect of specific areas of your life regarding good and evil. How have your personal choices impacted your life positively? Negatively? How have others personal choices impacted you?

It's imperative in these times that we recognize that if we don't begin to structure connections between these cause and effect occurrences, we disservice our self and others. 

When we finally recognize that our emotions are a most incredible gift and these life lessons, errors, and learnings are great blessings in completing that rainbow bridge that leads to that sacred path. Knowing that to choose to live conscientiously with a heart's full desire of being considerate of those thoughts and feelings of others.  Brings us to the awareness that every choice is critical. Is it possible to visually see the impact one has on society just by making a choice to treat another disrespectfully? Can you see how far your own reach extends?

A Positively Groovy Life

The Sacred Path to the Garden

April 25, 2024

In January of 2024, I approached my partner/mentor, or who I beleived was a person in this capacity, with being gifted with a beautiful vision of returning to the garden, living in a paradise of abundance, through being naked in the soul and telling my story as a way of healing through full exposure of my truth. I believed that this person was someone I could count on, trust, share this with. I was incorrect. I learned that what I shared was taken and used with another person after I was promised that what the project I had pitched would not be shared with anyone and that we would begin the process of working on it the following week. I was foolish. I was played. Immediately following the expression of this communication,  there were manipulations including that other person who shared this story. They chose to share this in a public forum. Maybe they thought I would never know, but I did and I do. I forgive them both for violating me, my trust, and my love. I choose to love these people and forgive them as the bottom line is that, I hold the vision, I hold the path. That path is truth and integrity and what God has given, no man can take away. I walk forward in all truth knowing The most High of all Holiness holds me, protects me, and guides me in all ways and am so blessed and honored to do this work. ✨️ 

April 23, 2024

I begin this story with with a humbling message.  Know that no matter what you have done, YOU are WORTHY!  We have all fallen short and are all worthy of forgiveness and redemption. I share my personal story with ALL humanity, with a desire to inspire expansion of thought, exposure of truth and healing heart, mind, body, soul and building relationships with Creator. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.