Reconciling Early Childhood Traumas & Memories

June 5th, 2024

Little Yellow Duckie

Life on Latona had its ups and downs. It was the first house I remember living in as a child. It was a large, white three story house, with a good sized porch. I remember the hardwood floors, how big the living room was that had stairs rising to the top level and back stairs decending into the kitchen had a landing almost at the bottom with four remaining steps turning to the right. The basement stored the washer and dryer. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs with one bedroom and bathroom downstairs. 

I was born in Seattle, WA in May of 1969. My parents both worked for Boeing at that time. My mother did drafting and my father worked in the construction of the wings of the 727 models. In that year Boeing had massive layoffs and both of my parents lost their jobs. Following this upset was the move to Latona.

The very first experience I recollect was in a time that I was wearing diapers. These were the times of cloth diapers and plastic covers with the elastic gathering at the legs and waist. I remember my mother not liking that particular task and not being especially careful in completing it. I remember her face holding a look of frustration in that time. She had already inserted the diaper pin into the right side of the diaper. As she  had folded the left side over to insert the yellow duck shaped pin she pinched my skin between the cloth she had folded over and her fingers. It hurt, but I didn't want to make any noise, I feared the look on her face. I squirmed and wiggled a bit to try to release my skin from that pinch, which made her more irritable. She held tighter to the cloth and my skin with it and suddenly jabbed that pin right through both. I burst out crying. My mother looked at me with such an extreme irritation and said "That wouldn't have happened if you wouldn't have been wiggling around". Strange that I remember those words so clearly. I was still in my crawling years at that time. As I sit here thinking about it, I remember having a distinct dislike for those plastic pants that covered those diapers. How they dug into my skin, it would burn. I couldn't wait until I was a big girl so I wouldn't have to wear them anymore.

Reconciliation

Recognizing that my fear of my mother's frustration stems from the feeling of being powerless is the key for reconciling this story. In reconciling this particular event I can accept & appreciate my self-loving qualities of being committed to healing my childhood trauma. By acknowledging my qualities of friendliness, positivity, peacefulness, & gratefulness, I demonstrate my self expression in honoring & respecting myself. In this way I am capable of letting go of what was and forgiving self for 'holding' and thanking and appreciating my mother for assisting me in building this powerful foundation of "knowing" me 🥰💖💝

**bold italicized print represents key words located on "behavioral expresions" page on site

Friday June 14th, 2024

The Playpen

In those same years I remember spending a lot of time in the playpen. My mother would always leave me in there alone. I was still under the age of one. The playpen was always centered between the front door and the stairs to the third story. There was always a blanket and several toys in it. For many hours in the day, I spent my time there. I would get bored after a time and and began stacking my toys in the corner and climbing on them to get out and find my mom. 

When my mom saw that I piled my toys up in the corner of the playpen, she removed the toys, all but one and the blanket.

I always felt so alone in that playpen, sitting and looking for my mom who was always in another room. I would stick my fingers through the netting to pull myself up and walk around the edges holding the top for balance. One particular time I remember having gotten bored playing with the toy and as I sat in the corner of the playpen, I worked my fingers around to stretch the mesh out to make the hole bigger and bigger until it got to be about the size of a quarter. The hole was about halfway between the base and the top. I managed to stick my big toe of my left foot into that hole and hook my arms over each side of the corner to pull myself over. I fell onto the hardwood floor on the otherside and bumped my head and started crying 😢. Following this event my mother would place the playpen upside down over the top of me. With the playpen upside down, I waa no longer able to stand up. I spent a whole lot of time caged in that playpen. 

Reconciliation

Within this story I recognize my abilities in being curious & creative within my attempts to escape the entrapment of the playpen. Being in a "caged" environment inspired my actions to be brave. I honor myself in being grateful for these experiences in my childhood as I recognize how truly independent they have helped me become. I recognize and appreciate my mother for her attempts in keeping me safe albeit "contained". 

Sunday June 16th, 2024

The Crib

My bedroom was located at the top of the stairs leading up from the living room. I remember this old house having hardwood floors and my crib being against the wall. As I would climb out of my playpen, I would also climb out of my crib. First she tried moving the crib away from the wall. I was still able to escape. My mother was trying to figure out how I was able to escape my crib and finally caught me putting my foot over the top of the railing and pulling myself over to the other side until both feet were standing on the mattress from the outside, then stepping onto the floor holding onto the slats of the crib. When she saw that, she told my dad to get a piece of plywood to place over the top so I wouldn't be able to get out. When the plywood was placed over the top I tried escaping between the slats of the crib feet first, then body until I reached my head and my ears got stuck and I was hanging. I was unable to touch the floor with my feet. It was scary, I couldn't move, I couldn't free myself. I was scared, hanging there, unable to free myself.  Terrified and in pain I began crying. Both of my parents came in and was able to pull me back through from the inside of the crib.

Reconciliation

Within this trauma are contained feelings of stress, being powerless, trapped, confined, and isolated. I can reconcile all of these things by recognizing first that the attempt in keeping me confined was for my own safety and recognizing the positive attributes of being brave, curious, & creative. I am grateful 🙏 for these gifts and thankful that my mother tried to keep me safe.

Wednesday June 19th, 2024

A Frightening Explosion

I was still in diapers when my Mother and Father drove from Washington to Wisconsin to visit relatives. This memory strikes fear and lack of control within me as I remember how scared I was that my Dad might die. The old car he was driving was overheating and he had pulled into a gas station to put water in the radiator. These were the times when there were no safety levers on radiator caps. I remember sitting in the front seat, the hood was lifted and I was watching my dad through the small space between the open hood and engine space. As I saw him twist the cap the water exploded from the radiator block and my Dad screamed in agonizing pain. I was so scared it was an explosion of hot steam and water all at once. I started crying my Mother got out of the car and told me to wait there. It was scary, I didn't know what was going on. I kept crying and crying scared that my dad was going to die. Finally my Mother came back to the car and I remember asking her if my Daddy was going to die. My next memory was my dad wrapped up in white gauze, his head, the entirety of his chest and belly. 

Reconciliation

I recognize in this particular trauma, there was not a whole lot that anyone could have possibly done to see it coming or change the outcome. With this being said, I restore myself in this situation with an intense sense of bravery, an incredible sense power in extreme situations, and a gratefulness for my Father surviving this event.

Sunday June 23rd, 2024

A Sprinkling of Sunshine

From these early childhood times, I remember my Father always being a very active person, of course my mother would accompany him in that time. My Dad participated in baseball,  a community league. He had a lot of friends around him, always joking and laughing in social situations,  my mother would sit on the sidelines with the ladies. I remember going to the games sitting on the blanket with my mother and her friends while they socialized. My mom liked to go to the tennis court, her and my Dad would enjoy playing while I looked on. Often times I remember family gatherings where they would play badminton or volleyball, times of having barbecues at the lake and watching the adults water ski and socialize. 

Public gatherings are what I remember best, going outdoors and watching them engage in their social activities.  These really were my favorite times with my parents. On the road trip to Wisconsin, prior to the radiator catastrophe, I remember my parents walking up a winding hill to this shack, my dad first carrying me on his left hip, then swinging me up to his shoulders and I would wrap my little legs around his neck and entwine my fingers through his hair and hold on for dear life. The shack was a bicycle rental place where my Dad rented bicycles for my mother and him to ride, my dad rode the one with the hard plastic baby seat on the back, he strapped me in and off they rode down the hill. 

Reconciliation

In this story we can identify how the smallest of acts still create hope, good memories can be sprinkled throughout the most difficult of situations if we choose to seek them out.

Tuesday June 25th, 2024

The Burn

I was around three when my parents had company over to play cards one night. They were sitting around the table with their friends laughing and talking. My Dad had set the electric perculator coffee pot on the table and plugged it into the wall across the room. I remember running around the table with the other little kid that was there, jumping over the cord as I ran around. When I suddenly tripped over the cord and pulled the coffee pot down on me. Burning hot coffee poured all down my back, bottom and the back of my legs. I remember the sudden painful burning pain, the scrambling of the adults in the room, the feeling of panic. My next memory is of being in the hospital.  I loved it there, it was a high rise building and it had a huge window. The nurses were so kind. They would bring me jello, ice cream. They spent time talking to me. I remember when they brought me oatmeal for breakfast, it didn't look anything like the oatmeal my mother would make, it had milk in it. I had never had milk in it before. I thought it was soup and I asked why they put the soup in my oatmeal. 🤣😂

When I tried it, I found it to be very delicious! I had an infection where the burn was and ended up having to stay longer than they had planned. Honestly,  I remember crying because I didn't want to go home.

Reconciliation

To reconcile this trauma, I recognize first the shock of the burn which caused a feeling of being overwhelmed and powerless. I remember it being very painful in that moment and I recognize within my feeling of fear in the moment as well. From these specific feelings I can see an opportunity to adjust my view by first being grateful that my parents took swift action and appreciate the doctors and nurses who cared for me in the hospital. I recognize what a truly brave child I was that is the foundation for the powerfully brave adult that I am today. 

Thursday June 27th, 2024

Bobble Head Kitty

At around the age of three, I remember my Uncle had a Japanese exchange student who stayed with him for about five weeks in the summer. This was a program that was set up through 4-H/LABO co-ordination in order to promote international education of cultural awareness. My uncle had brought this exchange student over to meet our family and the exchange student brought each of us a gift from Japan. My gift was a little fuzzy white kitty that had a bobble head. I was so excited,  it was absolutely beautiful and so soft! My parents had told us kids to play in their room where all the toys were. My little brother was just a year and a half younger than me. I happily sat down with my new little toy kitty and was rubbing its softness on my cheek. When suddenly, out of nowhere, my brother grabbed ahold of the kitty's bobble head and yanked it, stretching out the spring so it wouldn't go back. I started crying and went to show my mother and asked her to fix it. She yelled at me and said "Oh, you broke it already! You can't take care of anything." I told her that my brother grabbed the head and pulled it, and she said, "well, he's just a baby, you shouldn't have let him touch it." I was so sad. He still had his toy, mine went into the trash with judgement. 

Reconciliation

I reconcile this story with recognizing the power and ability I have in letting material things go. I can be grateful to my Mother for teaching me that judgement without hearing facts, create burdens over the wrongly accused. From this I see that though I felt powerlessness and sadness in the moment, I remained peaceful and friendly to my little brother. 

(The actual house on Latona)

Saturday June 29th, 2024

The Basement

The basement was where my mother did the laundry. I remember she and my dad were in conflict at one time when I was between the age of two and three. My mother had set up a kid-sized table for me and decorated it with a vase with fake flowers and a diner style napkin dispenser. I remember sitting on the little chair at the table pushing the metal plate of the dispenser inwards and watching it spring back while my mother was talking about how "neat" it was down there now that there was a table that had a "real" napkin holder and won't this be a good area for me to play in. I remember asking if we could get some real napkins for the napkin dispenser and her responding "we'll see". Following that, there was a time I remember her taking me down in the basement and telling me to stay down there and I asked why I couldn't be upstairs with her and her response was, "you have a big mouth and you tell everyone, everything". Another time I was told to stay in the basement, she said "You'll be fine, Jesus is here with you" I remember looking over my left shoulder to see where Jesus was and only saw the boiler for the heater. I asked my mom where Jesus was and she said "Jesus is invisible" as she turned around and went up the stairs as she left me there alone.

Reconciliation

In this memory I see feelings of abandonment, isolation, exclusion, loneliness in being left 'alone' in the basement. I recognize a seed of criticism as I hear the words "you tell everyone, everything". In resolution I can embrace my own Powerful sense of Independence.  stemming from this event and create an opportunity to effectively be Grateful to my mother for these gifts of Independence.  Recognizing I can appreciate the accusation as what helped me form my high standard of Confidentiality and within that I also can see the foundation of what formed my sense of Integrity regarding the sharing of other people's personal business ie: gossip.

Tuesday July 2nd, 2024

Cornflakes & Desitin

Between the age of two and three, I remember sitting on the third step from the bottom of stairs leading into the kitchen. I was eating cornflakes out of the box watching my brother play with the Destin ointment. I would reach into the box and pull out a fist full of cereal and some of the flakes would drop to the step around my feet. As they fell around my feet I would step on them, listening to the crunching sound as I felt them popping under the pressure of my feet. As I dug into the box for another handful, I looked at my brother and he was spreading the ointment all over himself and the floor. I sat there watching him as I continued to pop cornflakes into my mouth and beneath my feet. When I had enough cereal, I got up, grabbed a dish towel, pushed the chair over to the sink, climbed up and soaked the towel real good. I took the wet towel and set about to trying to wipe up the Desitin. I spread the wet towel around the floor and tried to clean my brothers head and arms but he started crying so I stopped and tried cleaning more of the floor. It wasn't coming clean so I gave up and looked around for something else to eat. I saw the sugar container on the counter and thought that would be yummy. 😋 I managed to pry the lid off and stuck my little fingers right into the sugar. I heard my mother coming down the stairs, my brother crying from me trying to clean him up, must have woke her up. I knew I would get in trouble for getting into the sugar so I pushed the large tub off the counter just as she rounded the steps. This a story she told often to everyone as I grew up and always told wrong. She was sleeping, didn't see anything and assumed most of it. Of course she would laugh about it everytime highlighting how much work I created for her, what a handful I always was, and how much extra work I always "made" her have to do.

Reconciliation

In reconciling this story, I recognize that even from a very young age I have demonstrated qualities of being helpful and caring. I see again the foundation of my strong sense of independence. While I heard this story told repeatedly throughout my life as a point of how burdened my mother was by my actions, I can be grateful to her for instilling in me an ability to be adaptive in situations and loyal, in the sense that I never argued her version of the story. As I also was wrongly accused  of spreading the Desitin all over the place, I see my sense of resilience in not changing my deep desire to continue being kind and loving regardless of how others treat me. Within this I see my great strength and power and therefore can appreciate my mother for her behaviors toward me.

Thursday July 4th, 2024

Best Time Ever!

Sometime between the age of three or four, I remember being in the living room with my little brother. My Dad had a nice collection of albums that he had a great affection for. I recall taking out one of the albums and dropping it on the floor as I looked down at it, I thought it might be fun to slide on. My brother was sitting there looking on, I put the album in the center of the room and ran and jumped on it and it didn't slide very far. I tried again to no avail. I turned around and my brother was pulling an album out of the sleeve....boom, on comes the little light bulb 💡 in my head. I took the sleeve off the album that I had and tried again. Weeee! What a thrill! My brother watched on for a bit as I did it a couple more times and he started doing it too. I took more of the vinyl records out of their sleeves and spread them across the floor and my brother and I began running across the room jumping onto the vinyl records and sliding joyfully across the remaining expanse of the hardwood floor of our living room. We were having the time of our life blissfully unaware of the damage we were causing to my Dad's cherished collection 🤣😂

Reconciliation

Years later as I was a Senior in High School, my Dad was digging into the attic and came out cursing at me, gave me a couple of albums saying, "you want these? You ruined them, you might as well take them",  He was mad all over again. I don't think I'll ever regret it, my brother and I had such a good time. I believe my big keys here are my creativeness, ingenuity, courage and sense of adventure. Recognizing that we can see an opportunity, children of two and three are not responsible adults, they are exploratory, inquisitive, and adventurous. They should not, in any way, be left to their own devices. If they are, one might expect, there are always consequences.

Friday July 5th, 2024

A Curse from God

On a warm day I was standing close to the threshold of the front door. My Mother was standing on the threshold to my left and my little brother was sitting with his heels together, playing with his toys about three feet across from me. I don't remember what prompted me to ask my Mom why boys are special and not girls. My mother told me that girls are curses because they are cursed, and I was a curse because I was a first born girl.

Reconciliation

As a young child, this one really stuck it to me, it's always been sitting there in the depths of my heart and the hidden corners of my subconscious mind assisting in the manifestation of unworthiness, at the age of three though, what did I really understand about what a curse from God was? It was a term often used but without any definition other than knowing, or having an understanding that it was bad, very bad. As I am in my way, I have never given up. I always trusted that God would protect me and provide for me. I recognize my beautiful tenacious personality, that no matter what was framed around me, I always broke through barriers. I give ALL glory and praise to Divine Source of all things 🙏 🙌 ✨️ that brings me into every day.

Sunday July 7th, 2024

The Rearview Mirror

One specific time I remember my Mother was driving me to my Grandma's house. She was very angry, I don't remember what I did wrong. She was driving a van and I was sitting in the seat behind her. I remember the look in her eyes as she said very curtly, "I don't like you at all" I felt so sad, I said, "You don't like me? But I'm your daughter" She responded, "I don't have to like you and I only love you because I have to love you because I'm your Mother." I started crying, I was between the age of three and four. I was so sad, my mom only loved me because she "had" to. My grandma only lived about five minutes away by car. She had pulled up in front of my grandma's and told me to get out my grandma was waiting for me. I walked up the steps to the porch of my grandma's house grandma was standing with the door open and waved at my mom as she drove away. I walked into the house where grandma had her bingo cards spread across the coffee table and her container of pennies. She sat down at the table to continue her bingo game and noticed that I had been crying. She asked me what was wrong and I told her what my mom had said. My grandma said "come here and let me give you a hug, I love you." I said, "my mom is mean" my grandma scolded me and said "now don't speak bad about your mother" I said, "but my mom doesn't even like me" my grandma said, "I don't know why your mom is the way she is, but, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." She gave me another hug and said "come on, let's have some cookies."

Reconciliation

Reconciling my Mother's 'dislike' for me brings to the surface a recognition of how this formed my view of "self". While I know that sometimes adults speak things that they shouldn't speak or say things that they shouldn't say when they are upset, when my mother spoke something, she meant it and she never said she was sorry, moreover, she would point a finger at me, accuse me of being a liar and say that I have crazy dreams and in the same sentence deflect by expressing what a "handful" I am. In this specific circumstance I see where I formed emotions of insignificance, rejection, sadness, abandonment, insecure, hurt, discouragement, and deflated. I recognize my Grandmother's wisdom that spring through the weeds of my mind garden "if you can't say anything nice, say nothing". Valuable words, in my humble opinion, especially when we recognize the Universal Laws. She expressed beautiful wisdom in her actions and words, by validating my feelings with a hug, by listening to me, by not saying "bad" things about my mother by circumventing my words with her pearls of wisdom and distracting my sadness with a treat in a loving way. My grandmother loved her bingo time and she set it aside for me in that moment and didn't support my negativity toward my mother. I forever will be grateful 🙏 for the great blessing of my grandmother. This highlights how my grandmother helped me to feel significant, embraced, safe, secure, loved, accepted, valued, and respected. I can forgive my mother for her words and be grateful to her for bringing me to my grandmother's house.

Thursday July 11th, 2024

Ducks, Dixie Cups, Pinwheels &

a '61 'Vette

One of my most favorite memories from early childhood was when my Uncle would come and pick me up in his 1961 Corvette. He would pick me up and take me to the Dairy Queen and buy me a little Dixie cup ice cream 🍦 😋, buy me a pinwheel, and take me to the park to feed the ducks. Playing  the am radio while I held my pinwheel up so the wind could spin it, I remember Terry Jack's song, 'Seasons in the Sun' and my uncle saying, "Oh, I love this song" as he leaned forward to turn up the volume. It was a beautiful sunny day 🌞 as we pulled up by the lake I noticed that was a large group of girls that were my uncle's age hanging out and chatting with each other. My uncle pulled right up in front of them and we got out of the car. My uncle introduced me to the girls and they were all so friendly, one of them ruffling my hair told me how cute I was. Feeding the ducks and trying to pet them was always a great joy as was the cherished memories of spending time with my uncle. I think I was around the age of four when my uncle was killed in a car accident. He loved to spend time with people and I can't think of a single time that I saw him without a smile on his face. He would come over, play his guitar and sing 'Country Roads' by John Denver for us. I loved that song so much that one particular time I remember singing that song outloud in bed and I apparently fell asleep and was singing it in my sleep when my Mom came up to tell me that I needed to stop singing and go to sleep 😴 💤 🙃. She found I was already 😴 💤 sleeping. Those times he would come were so fun, my brother and I would each sit on a foot and he would walk with us, one foot, grunt, stomp, next foot, grunt, stomp....clogging along as my brother and I enjoyed the ride, giggling and laughing the entire time. I was sad when my mother told me that he wasn't coming over any more because he was in heaven. I don't think I understood what that actually meant at that age. I will always cherish those memories,  not necessarily the car, the ice cream, the pinwheel, or the ducks. These are only aspects of memories surrounding times I spent with my uncle.  It really was how he was always kind, loving, happy, fun, and genuine with everyone. I miss you uncle, you forever hold a place in my heart 💛

Reconciliation

To note that we never know when our story in this adventure we call life is going to come to a sudden halt, is indicative of  how important it is to experience true joy with our loved ones. Forever in my heart I will hold dear my uncles sense of joy in the times we spent together as I value every single experience I have had with every one I've met. Good or bad experience, I am grateful for every scenario that has brought me into a truer sense of who the Divine Source created me to be.  Thank you all, so much, for walking through this journey with me. 🙏  May all of the grace and love of the Almighty One, be within you in perfection.          ✨️💖✨️😇✨️💖✨️

ALWAYS

Groovy 🌻 🕊 

Friday July 12th, 2024

X-Rays are Magic

My brother and I often spent time playing on the front porch and in the front yard, one day as we were playing on the porch my brother wanted to try riding his little red tricycle on the top of the railing which had a one by five top. He asked me to help him put it up there so he could ride it, I helped him hoist it up there then helped him climb up too. He rode it fine for a minute then it went off the edge and him with it, head first, to the sidewalk below. I ran in to tell my parents and of course they came running out. My mom was yelling at me about why I let him do that (I didn't let him, I helped him 🤣😂) as she rushed to scoop him up. He had a huge lump on his forehead, we all piled into the car and off we went to the hospital 🏥. As a child, I viewed the hospital as a magical place, all the people dressed in white, big equipment everywhere, stethoscopes, and X-rays! Wow, it was incredible! There was an entire wall dedicated to holding the X-rays. That day the wall was full of them, I held my dad's pointer finger as I stared in awe at all the images of skeletal owies. Wow! That's what we look like on the inside? I wondered how they did that, in my little mind, it was proof that magic is real! My brother was fine, only a minor concussion the doctor said. Even though I got in trouble for letting (helping) my brother get hurt, it was so cool to have an adventure to the emergency room!

Reconciliation

In this reconciliation, I can see another opportunity to highlight my foundation of independence and helpfulness and be grateful 🙏 to both of my parents for creating situations that afforded me to grow in that capacity. 

Tuesday July 16th, 2024

All By Myself

When my brother was old enough to crawl, my parents decided to start sleeping in the downstairs bedroom. I can imagine that it was so he wouldn't fall down the stairs, but I am really not certain. I was left upstairs by myself to sleep. I was only allowed one stuffed toy or doll so I wouldn't stay up playing at night. I remember that most nights she would tuck me into bed and tell me a short story or sing a song at bedtime 🌙. My mother really was a very inventive story teller...my favorites were the ones she always made up for my brother's stuffed duck named "Duckie Duddle", that stuffed duck had so many adventures! Every night story time was followed with a "kiss, a hug, and a belly rub" it was always the best when dad said goodnight too. Then they would head down the stairs promising to keep the hall light on as long as I promised to go to sleep right away. I remember many nights laying there watching the scary shadows on the ceiling making different shapes and forms. My brother would tell the story of the time that he tried to shimmy across the room on his belly right in front of my parents who were sitting on the sofa watching television. They would pretend not to see him and he would giggle and my dad would swoop him up and put him back in bed in their room. As he would laugh about how they would always catch him and he just wanted to be upstairs with me.

Reconciliation

Within this story there are clear positives that stand out. Storytime and singing before bed is very bonding and very positive. In this I recognize my parents desire to set my sleep tone in a good state. Being alone and scared by myself in a large shadowy area affords me an opportunity to recognize the "fear" aspect of this story. I do wonder why I was so afraid up there? Maybe it is attached to being in the basement by myself, although I was never put down there at night time, it was only during the day. I am positive that there is more digging that I need to do to connect the dots in this story. For this current moment, however, I will note that these times of fear allowed me to grow great strength and courage in my self.

Wednesday July 17th, 2024

Nightmares

Being all alone upstairs in that house was scary. Even though I knew my parents were downstairs, it was frightening with the shadows dancing on the walls and ceilings. I was afraid of the dark, the shadows, and the "boogie man". I started having recurring nightmares when I was around two years old. One in particular I still ponder, although I haven't had it in at least ten years, it was a rectangular, box shaped house that was several stories high, there were others in that dream. Children like me. The house was divided in two. To escape the house we had to get past the monster in the hallway to reach the stairs. The monster was this giant stringy thing. Interestingly enough, last year as I was perusing medical information in my healing journey, I ran across a bare nervous system. Wow! There was my "monster" in living color! I couldn't believe it. As a child I only considered the "monster" looking aspect, in this time I acknowledge an opportunity to explore why I may have been having dreams of escaping a box shaped house containing a nervous system monster 👻. Another recurring nightmare I have experienced is being in a cave system, others were always with me both male and female. In the caves there were crates that we were frantically going through as if we were searching for something under pressure. Someone was after us and we had to find whatever it was that we were looking for before we were found, I could hear someone from outside the cave say "they are in here" as they rushed in, I was the one standing in the front and I could see that they were all dressed the same and had guns, I was shot in the stomach. This is where I would wake up. Another nightmare very similar to this takes place in an attic with the same type of scenario, searching through boxes looking for something specific but never finding it, always hurried, always as if someone was coming after us. I had these nightmares from the time we lived in the Latona house into my late forties.

Reconciliation

If anyone reading this hold insights into dream interpretation. I would love to hear your perception of these dream expressions. Please email me at positivelygroovylife@yahoo.com 

Thursday July 18th, 2024

ExLax & Razorblades

In the Latona house (pictured above) I had so much freedom and independence when my mother was sleeping. I was always taking care of my brother during that time, whatever I found, I also shared with him, I taught him how to climb and explore. This is my framing of it as I love to explore! I suppose my mother is right by saying I was always getting into things. Yes, I suppose I was. I remember getting into the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom. You can see the little window to the upstairs bathroom in the above picture. It had a white porcelain pedestal sink with a metal framed medicine cabinet above. I have always been a curious child, born to explore, seek & find 🥰. I would climb up that sink, pulling myself up until I could sit in the sink bowl, open the cabinet to the treasures inside. One time there was a little box of chocolate! Oh what a treasure! I had struck gold! I saw my dad's razor and grabbed that when I hopped off the sink. I had saw my dad shave and wondered how he made his face so clean with it, I was going to definitely figure it out! I sat down on the bathroom floor with my little brother and unwrapped the treasured chocolate. I broke off a piece for him, he reached out, snatched it up and put it straight into his mouth. Straight away he reached out doing "grabby" fingers and I broke him off another piece, handed it over and took a piece for myself. I split the rest of the "chocolate" with him and headed to my bedroom where I went about my mission to figure out "razor blade" magic 😂. I stuck my pointer finger into the side of the razor and immediately sliced my finger on a pulsing vein. It didn't hurt, it was fascinating, like a tiny pulsating fountain! I had to go show my mom! I shoved the empty chocolate box into the bedspring and ran to my mom's bedroom as fast as my little legs would carry me holding my finger out, "look Mommy, look, look! The blood goes whoosh! The blood goes whoosh!" My mom rolled over rubbing her eyes, "what?" "Look!" I cried with excitement as I stuck my bleeding finger an inch from her face. Boy her eyes popped open quick as the blood squirted out of my finger towards her face. She said what did you do? Of course I really didn't know. I was still trying to figure that out. She rolled out of bed, took me to the bathroom and got me all cleaned up and bandaged. A couple hours later my brother and I both had the "flu" no temperatures (of course) 🤣😂 pretty sure my mom won't ever forget that day. She didn't put two and two together until after she found the crumpled up ExLax box in the bedsprings a couple weeks later when she was changing sheets. 

Reconciliation

This story I remember quite well, my mother still will tell it here and there with the spin of what a handful I was. I forgive her for the seeds she planted about how terrible I was and how much extra work I made for her. What I see in me is how tenacious, curious, exploratory, courageous, resourceful, caring, and giving I have always been!

Friday July 19th, 2024

Gingerbread Men

One day my mom had her friend and her friend's daughter visiting for the day. This particular friend of my mom's we called Auntie. I had known her from the time I was born, in fact, I believe she was there, the one who drove my mom to the hospital to give birth to me. He daughter was my brother's age and super smart. I was five at the time and my brother had just turned four. Mom had sent us kids up to play upstairs in the bedroom and told us not to swing on the bar in the closet. She said she would check on us and if we behaved we would get some gingerbread man cookies. Yum! I had never had a gingerbread man cookie before and they looked so cool with their little frosted smiling faces! Right away my mom's friend's little girl and my brother went to the closet and started swinging on the bar. I was warning them that mom was going to catch them and we would all get in trouble and we wouldn't get gingerbread men. They said no, she's never gonna know, how will she know? I told them she would know. I knew that if they got caught, whether I was swinging on the bar or not, I would not get cookies because I let them swing on the closet bar. They just kept swinging and making a bunch of noise. I was positive my mom was going to come up the stairs at any minute. I kept trying to get both of them to stop swinging and they just wouldn't,  they said I was stupid. Go ahead, swing on the bar, she's busy and won't come up. Finally they talked me into it, I took hold of the bar with both hands and lifted my feet off the ground. Instantly they both dropped off the bar and ran to the top of the stairs and yelled to my mom that I was swinging on the bar. My mom called us downstairs and had us sit at the table where she gave both my brother and the other little girl both cookies and made me sit and watch them eat them. My brother was making faces at me the entire time, just rubbing it in. I never even got to swing on the bar like they did. They tossed me straight under the bus and was rewarded for it. 

Reconciliation

Reconciling this story is a little difficult, I believe this was the first time I was really upset with my brother, the way he was rubbing it in while he was eating those gingerbread cookies really frustrated me in the moment. Sometimes life isn't fair, I guess that is the moral of this story, had I chose to do the right thing and not "followed the crowd" so to speak, I wouldn't have had to sit and watch the others eat in front of me. I have learned not to fold under pressure, I suppose enough of these experiences afforded me the opportunity to evolve and assisted in my determination to walk in integrity.

Monday July 22nd, 2024

The Broken Ankle

When I was somewhere around the age of three, my mom was upstairs in her bedroom with the door closed. I was playing with my brother, another little boy, and a little girl. I don't remember who they were, I do remember that I had a thin plastic play stove burner that I would pretend to cook on. It was rectangular shaped and when you flipped it upside down there was about a two inch lip around the edge. I had this sudden bright idea that it would male a great sled! I pitched my idea to the other kids and they said, "No way, you go first!" I said "I'm not a chicken! I'll do it, it'll be fun!" I decided that the backstairs would be best because they had the landing and stairs that turned to the right into the kitchen. I carried the thin plastic piece to the top of the stairs and looked at the others waiting at the bottom of the stairs, I set the plastic piece upside down, stepped into it and sat down. I pushed myself off the edge of the top step! Wheeeeee-hawww, for maybe two seconds and then my foot hit the wall, right foot specifically. I was in instant pain, I started crying, it was so painful. I was crying out calling my mom and she wasn't coming. I started climbing up the stairs to my mom's bedroom door on my hands and knees, it hurt with every move I made. I remember knocking on her door still on my knees, I couldn't stand up, she finally came to the door. I remember her reaching out with her arms to pick me up and that's it. The next thing I remember after that is being on crutches and crossing the street from the doctors office to the library. 

Reconciliation 

This story reconciliation has had effects into this current time. When I was in fifth grade a new girl had moved into the neighborhood. She noticed the scar around my right ankle and asked what it was. We were standing in the kitchen in the house on Tower Street, my mother was standing to my right. I replied, "I slid down the stairs and my ankle went straight into the wall and it broke". Immediately my mother called me a liar, I asked, "what happened then?" She responded to that with, "You girls go outside, I'm busy in here". We went outside and my "friend" ended up saying she had to go home. The next day at school I was telling another friend something and the new friend that had asked me about the scar on my ankle said, "Don't listen to her, she's a liar, even her own Mom calls her a liar" I wasn't. It wasn't until 2021 when I was sitting in my parents living room that she would finally confirm that this was true albeit in a round about way, by blaming it on my Dad. I don't remember my Dad being there at the time. I see how strong I was in crawling up the stairs by myself, overcoming and recognizing I am not the liar that my mother had labeled me as. I embrace my integrity in this story and know that my mother's destructive words have no power over me. I also honor my adventurous personality.

Tuesday July 23rd, 2024

Great Job!

You Dressed Yourself!

One morning I got up early when everyone else was sleeping. I went outside and pkayed on the front porch for awhile dressed only in my underwear then got bored and went searching the neighborhood for some friends to play with. I remember this very nice lady asking me where my mom was and I responded that she was in the house sleeping. She said to me that I didn't have enough clothes on to be outside playing and that I would catch a cold and I should go back home, put some clothes on and watch cartoons until my mom woke up. I did and when mom woke up she was so proud of me that I got up and dressed myself with no help! I was so happy to please my mom, I was only about two years old at the time. Another story my mom liked to share about how I would embarrass her because following her pride in me having dressed myself, she saw the neighbor who let her know I was running around the neighborhood "half naked" and she had sent me home to get dressed. 

Reconciliation 

In this story I can again see my adventurous and independence stand out. I can also recognize that I listened to what the neighbor said and got myself dressed. I can again thank my mother for creating opportunities in my childhood to gain great strength in my desire for independence 🥰

Wednesday July 24th, 2024

The Spuds Are Coming!

One night I got to go stay the night at my grandma's. My Grandma was always so kind and loving, she always had wisdom to share such as, "never sit on a public toilet seat, you must hover, you don't want cooties, do you?" She carried disposable wet wipe packets in her purse, was ready with a little pack of kleenex if you need it, and if it rained, she'd whip out a little folded up thin plastic square that would turn into a rain cover for your hair. She was handy, always prepared! My Aunt was 10 when I was born and was a very proud auntie. I would spend lots of time with her when I was small. This particular night we were outside in my grandmother's front yard when grandma said it was time for me to go to get ready for bed. My Aunt loved to joke, she was hilarious. I was little though, three, maybe four years old. My Aunt hollered in an excited voice, hurry!!! Run!!!! The spuds are coming!!! I was confused, "what spuds? Where are they?" I was looking around. My Aunt pointed to the sky, the sun had set and there were clouds much like those in the above picture and said, "see those curved shadows up there in the clouds? Those are the spuds and they are coming this way! If children aren't in bed by the time they go over the house, the spuds get 'em!!) 🙄 🤣😂 man did that freak me out! I ran 🏃‍♀️ my little legs into Grandma's house as fast as they could carry me, straight under the bed I went! I wasn't coming out either! My grandma came into the room to tuck me in for the night and said "what in the world are you doing under the bed? Come out of there." I told her, "I can't, the spuds will get me and I don't want the spuds to get me!" She said, "what in the world are you talking about?" I told her what my aunt had told me. I'll never forget my grandma saying to my aunt, "what were you thinking, scaring that little girl like that? Tell her the truth, she won't come out from under the bed." My aunt said "well, it worked, didn't it?" 🤣😂

Reconciliation

I suppose this story sticks in my head as funny now, but i remember being so scared of coming out from underneaththe bed. My grandma trying to coax me out and me crying not wanting the spuds to get me 🤣😂 I feel it's important to note here, that while frightening children with silly stories that strike serious fear into their little minds can create a two part impact; first being that once a child figures out the lie, they are hard pressed to believe us in the future, so if we have a desire to build a loving and trusting relationship with our children, lies should be kept from the equation. If we lie, we teach our children to lie. Second being that when we instill fear in a lie, a boundary of safety is toppled. Fear tactics are not loving. I recognized that my aunt was only about twelve or thirteen years old at the time and hold no accountability to her joke, she was just a kid. I spent a lot of time with her and she really had a beautiful heart of gold, both her and my grandma 🥰 Always in my heart ❤️ 

Thursday July 25th, 2024

Suzy Q's

It was a wonderful day, one of the best days! The day I tried a SuzyQ! My mom had bought some SuzyQ's and I remember her sitting on the sofa unwrapping this chocolate cake filled with tasty cream! I, being the curious child I was, asked "what's that?" She said, "you want some?". She gave me a whole one! I was elated! I licked some of that cream nestled between the two slabs of chocolate cake. Oh it was dreamy! I took a bite and savored the combined textures and flavors. The best thing I had ever tasted in my entire life! I was probably three years old at that time 🤣😂 I remember her and my dad sitting on the sofa enjoying their SuzyQs they were laughing together. A small, beautiful little memory.

Reconciliation

Reconciliation in this story is recognizing the laughter my mother and father shared that day. They were really enjoying their treat as I was. I am grateful for these spaces of fun and laughter and acknowledge that there are good moments sprinkled throughout our lives if we take an opportunity to seek them 🥰

Monday July 29th, 2024

Don't Come Back

One sunny day, my brother and I were playing outside in the front yard. I was standing where the sidewalk meets the walk to the house and my brother was about a foot away from me. We had been riding the tricycle taking turns and my mom's friend had come out and was talking to us for a minute, saying goodbye to us. I remember he had dark hair and was very kind. We were asking him to play with us and he said that he had to go, maybe next time. Suddenly the front door of the house opened and my mother yelled at him saying, "don't talk to them! You need to leave and don't come back!" "You kids come in the house right now!" It didn't make any sense to me. He was always so nice when he came over and I, of course, had to ask why my mom why she was mad at him. All I remember her saying is that he wasn't coming back there anymore and to forget about him.

Reconciliation

In reflection, I look back at this moment and consider the times I spent in the basement. She was angry, this was obvious. I remember him, how kind he was, but nothing more. I remember being sad that he wouldn't be returning, as life goes on memories fade and our minds move on as well. Hopefully more will come as I continue to process other memories, for now it will remain as it is, a proverbial question mark from the past. 

Tuesday July 30th, 2024

Telling Time

I began my year of Kindergarten while I was still in the Latona house. The first time my mom didn't take me out to the bus I remember being sad. I asked her how come she wasn't going to and she had expressed that she was tired and was going back to bed, but it would be okay because she would teach me how to tell time and I could watch cartoons until it was time to go. The clock was on the wall above the television and I would be able to glance at it while I watched my show. Now this was a real treat for me, I didn't get to watch a whole lot of television when I was young. She pointed at the clock and said, "Do you see that long hand?" I was a bit confused, I knew what a hand was and I couldn't see any "hand" where she was pointing. I shook my head "no" she starts over, "Do you see the long black things that are pointing at the numbers?" "Oh, okay, I see those", I replied. She said "When the long one points to the three it's time for you to catch the bus" Oh! That was easy, I thought to myself! I wasn't bothered at all that my mom wasn't walking me out there now because I could watch cartoons and now I could tell time! 🤣😂

Reconciliation

This story is another wonder example of my outstanding foundation of independence! I appreciate that my mom taught me how to tell time 💯,  this paved the way for me to be the person who I have become and I am grateful to my mother for these experiences 🙏 💯 

Wednesday July 31st, 2024

The Golden Tricycle

When I was around three years old , my Grandparents gave me a beautiful golden tricycle. Oh, how I loved to ride that tricycle back and forth on the side walk in front of the house. There was one rule, never cross the street unless mom or dad was with me. In the evenings at dinner time, mom and dad would call me inside to eat then sometimes I would be able to go outside again until it was time to get ready for bed. One particular evening, dad called from the front porch that it was time to come in. I was at the corner next to the stop sign, when dad called, there was no time to waste! I hopped off my beautiful golden tricycle and ran to the house as fast as I could, I only had to the count of three so there was no time to turn my tricycle around and pedal back, I could run much faster! The next day when I went outside, my golden treasure was gone! I was heartbroken, I started crying and went to my parents. My dad said,  "well, where did you leave it?" I pointed at the stop sign, "It was right there, at the stop sign" He said, "Well, that's what you get for not bringing it back to the yard" I didn't understand what that meant, I remember feeling how unfair it was. 

Reconciliation

I am grateful 🙏 to my parents for this difficult lesson. This taught me that if we don't care for what we love, it is lost and may possibly never be retrieved. As well as recognizing that the loss of the tricycle was not the end of my life, helps me to see where material possessions hold little value to me by comparison of life itself. Valuing people over possessions is so important to me. I would much rather be surrounded by loving people that cherish each other than any abundance of material items in existence. Thank you Mom and Dad for these beautiful gifts 🎁 ❤️ I see more and more everyday what a truly abundant treasure I am in so many ways!

Thursday August 1st, 2024

Mud Pies

The beautiful thing about childhood is the capacity of imagination! I think about the time that my aunt gave me the plastic stove burners that you could set over any cardboard box and pretend to make breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and mud pies! (This is that same plastic piece that I used to slide down the stairs). On one particular sunny day, I remember Dad saying, "It's a nice day, you kids go play outside!" My brother and I went to play out on the front porch, I was in the mood to bake and asked my mom if I could have some food so I could cook it on my stove. She said, "make some mud pies 🥧 🤣  I asked, how do I do that? There isn't even any mud out there?" She said, "get some water and mix it with some dirt". Off I went to make some incredible, mouth watering mud pies! 😋  My brother and I worked together to mix up some dirt with some water and when we got the consistency perfect, I set about to patting them into the little baking pans, I even made beautiful little finger marks on the pies to make them fancy! I set the little pans onto the burner stickers on the plastic piece and waited for them to cook long enough to eat. I couldn't wait to try my beautiful creation! Finally, after what seemed like forever, I carefully removed the mud pie from the burner and asked my little brother if he was ready for some delicious homemade pie! He excited grabbed the pie and scooped out a bit of mud and put it in his mouth, immediately he spit it out and complained that it tastes like dirt. I couldn't understand how it could taste like dirt, it was a pie, I cooked it and everything, it was beautiful! So I tried it and sure enough, he was right, it tasted like dirt, just like dirt! I went into the house to ask my mom what I did wrong because my pies tasted like dirt! She said, "Oh no! You ate them?" I said "no, we just tried them and I must have done something wrong because they tasted like dirt!" My mom said, "well, they aren't real pies and you aren't supposed to eat them because they are dirt and there are bugs and all kinds of things in dirt". Gross! I ate bugs? My mom said, "Don't do that again, now your probably gonna get sick" my dad said, "oh, they will be fine, it's just a little dirt and a little dirt never hurt anyone." For me the disappointment was incredible, my mouth had been watering for that yummy pie! 🤣😂🤣😂

Reconciliation

I love how this story highlights my beautiful imagination! In the imagination of a child we can nearly create a sense of reality. Nearly, being the key word here, is recognizing that no amount of imagination can make a mud pie taste like anything but dirt! 🤣😂 Considering all the things these days with imagining our reality, this little story here keeps me grounded and aware that if it's made of mud, it will taste just like mud! I am so grateful for my childhood for bringing myself into such an awareness of wisdom and intellect. 

Friday July 2nd, 2024

A Pre-School Beautician

How I loved preschool with my friends, it was wonderful! I plethora of opportunity for imaginations to prosper! Little play kitchens, artworks with paint, clay, crayons, dough, and scissors ✂️! We all love to pretend to be little adults in those spaces and do our utmost to be as those we aspire to be. One day, in full imagination, I thought how lovely it would be to be a hairdresser and had many willing participants lining up for a haircut! In my little girl imagination everyone looked so beautiful by the time I was caught by the teacher cutting my friends hair with blunt ended children's scissors. It was magnificent to me, not so much for the teachers, my friends parents, or my mother for that matter. As children we rarely see or view the world as adults do. Adults have forgotten expression in the way children think as responsibility and what others think overcome their minds. My mother was pretty upset that day as she heard an "earful" (her words) from the parents of the willing participants in my imaginative escapade. 

Reconciliation

I can completely understand where all parents are coming from in this reflection of childhood. Having been a parent myself, I was heartbroken when my daughters beautiful golden curls were snipped from her head. 💔 of course as parents we can recognize that with all of the responsibility of adulthood, we have forgotten what it was like to be a child exploring, growing, learning and imagining. Our little minds a proverbial sponge soaking up so many things, that to think in a way of "common" sense is hardly applicable. Here I will highlight my wonderful bounty of imagination ✨️ and apologize to my own girls for having forgotten what it was like to be a curious child myself.

Tuesday August 6th, 2024

My First Fishie

The town I grew up in had a park that has a small lake. The lake has steps that decend down to the water. As a small child I remember that magical day that I caught my first little fishie from the steps of that small lake that was stocked with fish every year for the children's fishing event. The joy that I had felt as I reeled my little two inch fishie up out of the water, I had the biggest smile on my face as I exclaimed that I had caught my dinner 🤣😂🤣😂 There would be many opportunities in the years following this moment in time, that I would reel in fish that was possible to eat, this was not one of those times! A beautiful memory of a child's accomplish that is always cherished in my heart. Thank you Mom and Dad for this wonderful little memory. This was one of my most favorite memories of my childhood.

Reconciliation

It is so important to always highlight our fun moments and accomplishments in our childhood. Traveling back in time and remembering how I felt that day, that overwhelming joy. I am grateful for these positive memories and experiences, I am grateful for this cherished experience and so grateful to my parents for creating these opportunities of growth for my own good. 🥰

Tuesday August 6, 2024

Great Grandma's Pancakes

My great grandma was a kind and loving soul. I loved the times we would go and visit her house. She lived on a rolling hill near the northern coastal area of Oregon. Near her house, we would explore, finding such treasures as cattails and pussywillows. I was enthralled by the softness of these things of nature. My great grandma made the most amazing Swedish pancakes from scratch. I remember standing in her kitchen at around the age of three having a very serious conversation with her, for the life of me, I don't remember the topic but I do remember that conversation. Me standing in the center of the kitchen holding my hands behind my back as my Great Grandma stood at a cast iron griddle flipping her delicious pancakes one by one 😋 

Reconciliation

Another grateful memory,  when I travel back to those visits, the adventures in pretending was somewhat similar in comparison to Laura Ingalls on Little House. I remember that sense of freedom, the smells and exploration. How much fun it was! How magical it was to feel that cattail and the pussywillows. It was so curious to me that they grew on trees and out of swamp water 🤣😂 I will always remember how loving my great grandma was and how truly amazing those pancakes were! The best I would ever have 🥰

Wednesday August 7th, 2024

My Favorite Fur Coat

I loved my fur coat. It didn't really look like the picture above. It was shaggy seventies style fur and it was my ultimate prized possession. It was soft, warm, and fuzzy, all the good things. Like the security blanket that hugged you and didn't let go. I wore that treasured coat the day that I caught my first fish, I wore it to the store, to grandma's, to school, to play. I may have worn that coat for about three years! I didn't want to give it up! No matter the gigantic holes in the pocket linings, the fit, or the sheer tatteredness of it. It was a sad day when my mom took my cherished little fake fur. As a child it didn't matter that the sleeves were too short, the zipper was broke, and the pockets had huge holes.

Rarely do children understand the plight of rhe parent, the pointing finger of judgement as to why someone might allow their children to wear clothing that is obviously too small. Alternately there are parents that may not find certain expenditures feasible at times....still the judgement finger flies.

I this instance, I would have worn that coat until it disintegrated 🤣😂 into miniscule bits of dust! 🤣

Reconciliation

Rarely do children understand the plight of rhe parent, the pointing finger of judgement as to why someone might allow their children to wear clothing that is obviously too small. Alternately there are parents that may not find certain expenditures feasible at times....still the judgement finger flies.

I this instance, I would have worn that coat until it disintegrated 🤣😂 into miniscule bits of dust! 🤣😂

Friday August 16th, 2024.

I Want to Wear a Dress

When I was visiting my Great Grandmother, (my mother's grandmother) it was Easter Sunday when we drove down to Oregon for that visit. My mother had chosen matching outfits for my brother and I. They were red pants and paisley shirts with matching red vests. I never wanted to wear pants, as a little girl I would look at the fancy dresses and imagine myself wearing one of those. Instead I felt like I was dressed as a boy. I remember not liking it at all and telling my great grandma that I looked like a boy, just like my little brother. My great grandma asked me if I could have anything in the world that I really wanted what would it be? I specifically took this opportunity to speak my mind and said "I want a pretty dress great grandma" she replied, "you do?, well we will have to see what we can do about that!" Following that visit, my mother received the news that my great grandma had fallen on the front porch and broke her hip. Those were the days that a broken hip was a death sentence. She was put in the hospital and had gotten a blood clot which broke loose and before we knew it she was gone. Following this tragic loss my great aunt (one of my mother's aunties) began sending my brother and I fancy outfits once a year all the way into my junior high school years. When I was beginning my Junior year of High School, I had driven down to her house in Oregon to stay for the week as my parents were vacationing out of state to celebrate their anniversary. While I was staying with her, I helped washed the windows, helped clean, and we chatted about all kinds of things. This is when I learned that while my Great Grandmother was passing in the hospital she had told my great aunt that she had no kids and lots of money. It was my great grandmother's dying wish that I would receive a fancy dress once a year to be fulfilled by my great aunt. My great aunt had told me that she was happy to fulfill that wish for her.

Reconciliation

I feel like one of the things I may be capturing within some of these stories is how much I am recognizing that I was batting for my own identity as a small child. It's so much easier to see viewing from outside of these experiences. So grateful to my great-aunt for treating me as a young adult and sharing that time with me. I valued every second of that time then and I value it even more as I look back on it. I will always cherish that time I got to spend with her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous, and kind ❤️ 

Wednesday September 25th, 2024

Santa's on the Roof!

One of the best recollections that I have of my childhood is the year that Santa and the troop of reindeer landed on my Grandparents roof while we were all sitting in the living room visiting and snacking on holiday treats.  There was such a noise we all ran outside to see what was going on, of course by the time we figured out what was happening, Santa was gone! In the blink of an eye as they say. I love this time of year. It was magical to believe ✨️ to hope. The feasts, carols, scents, and candles. The joy in the air. It has shifted as I have grown. I am so grateful to my Grandparents, Parents, and Aunties, and Uncles for creating such beautiful family memories for me to reminisce on.

Reconciliation

Silver Falls

Reconciliation